Reply To: Feel like maybe I’ve been in denial about being trans my whole life

[Lufia]

Your experience is nearly identical to mine. I remember being jealous of the girls as far back as I can remember. I started wearing women’s clothing as a young teenager. Early on, I was only attracted to women, but I started to feel an overwhelming desire to be penetrated around the age of 14. Though I still considered myself 100% straight at the time (denial), I purchased my first vibrator when I was about 19. I also started wearing panties exclusively around the same time, though I only wore other clothing in private.Since then, I am only fully satisfied if I am being penetrated.I have not had as much sexual experience as you have. I have had sex with a couple of women and dated one guy, though nothing ever came of it. Physically, I am very attracted to women, though I no longer believe the attraction is sexual in nature. I have had the same experiences with porn as you have had. Though I am physically only attracted to a very specific type of guy, my sole sexual interest is a receptive role with a man. I found it very uncomfortable when I tried to date a guy though, even though I wanted him. I think the issue is due to my perception of my gender. Being with a man while living as a gay man feels wrong to me. My desire is to be with a man as woman. My desire is to be with a man and be treated as a woman, both emotionally and physically. I have no desire to assume any semblance of a traditionally masculine role in my relationships.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by Lufia.