I didn’t tell my wife what I was doing for at least a month after I started seeing a psychologist. I felt that her response would be to tell me NO!, your crazy, etc. Which is kind of how she has dealt with me on many occasions. I actually never told her, she discovered my transgender research on the computer.
She acted hurt that I didn’t trust her with this aspect of myself. Maybe I lost an opportunity to start my journey with her at my side, maybe it was a way to control the eventual outcome. My wife is some what distant from me now, and I don’t know if telling her early on would have made a difference; one thing about yesterday is that it is done & gone.
Good luck in how you decide how t approach this. One or two visits to a psychologist will help you find a path to travel, a first few steps in some direction.