I know what you mean Hilary, I was perhaps broadening my own definition a little. I love pink, wore pink shirts a pink iPhone and other little things; I knew why but others didn’t. I think much of what you say will resonate with many. Found myself nodding as I read.
I like to think of it as peeling away the masculine layers I have built up to make myself acceptable to others, the ones that hide my true feelings. When they are all gone I will still be me I hope. I won’t miss the devices I used to hide me though, so I don’t miss the faking.
I’m a bit gushy and as a women with other women that is ok. I couldn’t do that as a male…had to hide it. That was a frustration but I never really found a way to get round it.
I’m a Nightwish fan (Finnish band) through and through lol…if you’ve ever heard of them? The perfect male/female mix for me. Unisex so you can be whatever elements fit your personality.