I have started making forward progress. I gave up letting the anxiety rule me and started like I did with everything else one little piece at a time. A pink bandana to hide my guy hairline (waiting for my hair to grow in), some eyeliner and mascara to make my eyes have a more feminine pop and some nice jeans to show off my legs. Im on my second treatment for laser hair removal on my face and can’t wait for that to be gone I will definitely feel more confident when I’m not trying to hide that. (Facial hair is one of the biggest dysphoria triggers for me I shave so much it hurts)
I decided after I get a signature on a contract they can suck it up until we’re done and if they don’t want to hire us again that’s their prerogative. (Also thinking about an anti discrimination clause in the contract that would result in a penalty or fee or some motivational consequence since they don’t offer us a whole hell of a lot of legal protection still working that out)
I also bought a decent but cheap starter wig in my natural color. I intend to make that the next addition first thing next year. I tried it on after painting my face on…. Big mistake I ruined my face from crying because I looked like all the other girls in my family. Definitely a happy moment and gave me hope that I can do this.
I’m a dreamer, visionary, and a really stubborn B*t*h when I have a goal. I really want to push to make my company a place where a trans man or woman (or any group that faces discrimination for that matter) can come to work make fair wages to pay their bills and be able to advance themselves in society. All in the Narrow minded W.A.S.P. wasteland. I have my work cut out for me but I have a plan. Who knows maybe someday I can offer transition assistance (financial as well as a shoulder to cry on) through the company.
I intend to ramp up my transition in the coming year after really coming to accept that I have to do this to be whole. The more I progress the more confidence and strength I have to go further . So I will continue to make occasional updates here as the transition train picks up steam and inevitably changes business and my working life.
Wish me luck!!!