Reply To: How to play with/explore gender identity and presentation?


Hello Josie, it is a process and the real advice is it is all up to you.  However in my experience from being and watching many friends go through the process it comes down to where ever you are just start.  Little steps if you have to or one giant leap like I have seen many try. The first and even hundredth time you step out the door it won’t be perfect, in fact having a perfect day, perfect face, perfect outfit only happens in the movies or in our memories. You are going to grow up and go through the same stages as a girl would: a baby, little girl, preteen, teen, young adult, 20’s, 30’s etc until you reach a comfort point.  Some of these stages will last longer than others, some a few hours or weeks, some even decades.  The process is all askew for transgender people coming out when you are older vs just growing up like all the other girls. These stages are in every aspect of who you are too, not just in clothing and fashion, but also in thinking and feeling, social circles, acceptance, etc.  Friends will come and go, family might do the same. You will cry, you will laugh. One of the things that helped me a lot was having a close friend or two who could pick me up when I was stumbling and that I could do the same for them, going this alone will be very hard. Where you find those friends depends on where you are at, online is a place to start, but ultimately you will need a physical friend to hang out with and chat too.



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