Reply To: Deep pain – breaking person.


Hi Abby.   I can relate to you situation.   For 19 years I had a wife who knew and understood and participated in my being Elayne  . I lost her to cancer in 1999.  From  1999 to 2012 I lived alone  dressed and had my femme time.  My  two daughters never knew and still don’t know . I was living in Reno NV then alone in an apartment.  I actually tried to transition but had a bad reaction to the HRT. and had to stop.  Im 2012 I was in a violent car crash .  8 moths of rehab.  during that time I met  a wonderful woman who helped me with my rehab. Moved in with my and we married in  2016.  She does not know. and I  wont tell her because of the exact same thing your having a problem with.  .

The stats are against you. Sad to say but true.  Of all the  CD. TV s i have knows very very few who tell their wives  have a successful relation  ship afterwards.   Women are challenged by other women in their lives and more so when the woman is the man they love.  They go through  What did I do wrong to cause this or can’t  O h my GOD why Me .  among other things.   Embarasment of being out in public with you HUSBAND !! who is  now a WOMAN !!    While we have progressed in the LBGT Community  it still Stigma TO MANY who believe in traditional man and wife.  If you fell that your a complete woman then my suggestion is to end things.  Dont try to change things in you wife’s eyes  .. because you can’t!!    The other option is to compromise .  When you can dress, where you can dress, . Being a man  when you are with her  and other times the woman that is inside you .  You may not be able to live like that but that may be how you have to do it.  .  Gender ident Council ing  may be able to assist you also but it cost money to do so.     You made a decision to marry her being a MAN . that agreement is broker because their is another women in you relationship   YOU.   You are behind the  8 ball and between a rock and a hard place.  But you will have to make a decision…  Come to a compromise or  move on with out her..  Sorry but that  is the harsh reality of the situation.  Wish you good luck


Elayne  Edwards



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