Reply To: Do you want to be a girl?

DeeAnn Hopings


It occurred to me that I didn’t describe my own situation. It is different from many here.

I am fortunate in that I have not experienced dysphoria to any sort of quantifiable degree. What I finally realized, after MANY decades, is that I have never been completely male nor completely female in my thoughts, perspectives and actions. I have always been interested in traditional male pursuits as well as things thought to be traditionally female. That never bothered me internally, but I learned during childhood what was acceptable  behavior and what wasn’t. It finally occurred to me that investing energy in maintaining a masculine facade was pointless. While I present as DeeAnn nearly all of the time, presenting as Don on occasion isn’t a problem. A recent example is when we had appointments to get our vaccines. I didn’t want anyone to try to figure out why my presentation didn’t match my identification. There are no anxious moments when I do this.

However, I would hesitate to say that I want to be a girl. The way that women are treated, from a social perspective, clearly has many issues associated with it. While I am fine with my presentation and social interactions, there are other aspects do not sit well…

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