Reply To: Hiding Breast Growth at Work

[Marg Produe]

Hi Emily,
I know this is a response to an older thread but maybe my thoughts may help you or someone else.  When I started to blossom, I really did not want to stir the waters at work because just like you, I knew that some people would not say anything to my face but would quietly ice me out.  So, only my immediate (and trusted) work partner knew and she was quite ok with it.  As I started to get bigger I controlled the flopping with a very tight t shirt first (or like a tight runners top) and then covered that with another larger loose fitting regular t shirt and then my dress shirt over that.  Yup it was hot and bulky but I did get it all controlled.  Also whenever eating comments came up at work I always mentioned how I was gaining weight and getting sloppy (which was sort of true).  After that someone even commented that my face was starting to look puffy and maybe I should lay off the salt.  The first tight t shirt was usually beige or light brown so it blended in with my body.  Also, there were times when I knew that I would have close contact with others and maybe even a back slap or hug a relative outside of work.  Then I wore my “stealth bra” that I made by taking the cups of a very smooth thin bra and cutting off the old straps and band and resewing a new band and straps that I made out of strips of swimsuit fabric.  Those strips would lay absolutely flat and would not show through clothing like if I was bending over or someone put their hand on my back.  I also changed the front by adding a hook between the cups so it was front opening.  If it had an underwire, I pulled it out, so really it just was a thin breast pad.  I wore it under the tight t shirt and it never showed through.  I sometimes still wear it when I’m meeting lots of relatives and know that there will be lots of hugging and I don’t want to get into a conversation about my undergarments.  All of these approaches have helped me to avoid problems in my daily interactions.  On a personal level, I avoided pokies in the colder air conditioned areas and the extra layers or padding also helped with chafing.   I always wore long sleeves and when asked why I explained that I was becoming more easily burned by the sun and needed to cover myself up more to prevent damage or cancer in my advanced age (which is also the truth).  Needless to say I did not participate in group pickup ball games nor did I go swimming in the company pool.  I was already taking care of two very aged parents and excused myself regularly from most of the hangout at work after-parties.  I also gradually adopted a look that included a sport coat, sweater or lab coat almost every day.  So, perhaps you’ve already solved most of these problems and been able to effectively control your work environment while transitioning.  That would be great and I’d be so happy for you, but if not maybe these little helps will be useful.
Safe Journey my friend,
Marg

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Emily Alt