Hi Katie, yes I am in full agreement there. I had hoped that as empathetic as my wife was at the beginning, it only took a few days for her to do a 180 when she realized all the time, effort, and attention I spent on my feminine side over the years, and what I didn’t give to her and our daughter.
I offered for my wife to sit in on a session with my gender therapist, because I felt like my wife resented what the therapist might have been telling me. I was the one to accept being transgender, the therapist just confirmed what she’d observed from our discussions, and it was up to me to do what was best. My wife has yet to join.
I’d like to say I think your wife will reconsider. She may, but the relationship is changed forever and you both will have to figure out what you each have to do to protect yourselves. It doesn’t necessarily mean divorce, but if she deosn’t have a side of her open to “exploration” (as my wife doesn’t, nor do I yet, I don’t believe) already, it won’t suddenly be there.
I’m here for you anytime you need. If you want to email or chat one-on-one, PM me and we can share contact info. Take care of yourself! This isn’t something you have done wrong or can just change. I know – I couldn’t either, but I wish I could have.