Hi
I am new here first day. I am in a similar situation as you. I have been with my wife since high school. 27 years together and 19 years married. We have 3 teenagers together. I had a breakdown about 5 years ago and came out to my wife. I thought that after 27 years I knew her. She is my everything and the love of my life. I destroyed my marriage. We are still currently together but life is not the same. I present as male as I only started HRT on Jan 1 2023. Me coming out to her was the worst thing. She has told me that she is not into women and loved me as a man. She will not love me as female and does not want anything to do with me. We have stayed together for the kids and financial reasons. But we are not the same nor intimate. I destroyed my life for coming out. My kids don’t know but they are suspicious as I have longer hair now and wear some make up.
my advice is if you can secretly do what you need to do stay closeted. I regret my coming out. So far in 5 years nothing good in my life has happened. More arguments with my wife and hatful comments and stress in the family. I wish I could go back in time and not tell her anything.
sorry.
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