You are not alone nor are you “abnormal” for being doubtful. I used to teach my Marines that courage is not the absence of fear but instead the acknowledgement of it. Fear focuses the mind very well and motivates even better. Doubt helps you weed out the irrelevancies and discover the truths in your life thus making your decisions that much more laserlike and pure.
I have so many days where I wish I could let go of the need to be Jemma. It would be much less lonely, costly, and easier on my loved ones, but then I would be doomed to finishing my life locked in the lies I have had to live with for too many years. I need to be Jemma, I have to be Jemma, and if that means I have to spend the rest of my life alone, then so be it. At least I will finish with honesty as the woman I was always meant to be.
Will I ever stop doubting? I doubt it!
Thank you thank you thank you (yes, three times) you’re words are so inspiring, it’s so great to know we are not the only one who think things like that.