Hello! Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry about your dysphoria. Dysphoria can be quite the beast at times, to say the least. I can’t offer any specific advice as dysphoria occurs along a spectrum and affects people in so many different ways. And while I’m MtF, I will only be able to speak in regards to the general sense of gender dysphoria.
I go back and forth continuously wondering if I think of myself as nonbinary or as transgender. Maybe 1% of the time, I’m complacent with being male, but want and wish I was female all other times, and it is sometimes a very strong feeling. It’s that 1%, though, that I’m just not sure about and it’s that uncertainty that makes me wonder if I’m transgender or nonbinary. The only advice I can offer is to seek out a care team. I know that is a rather generic answer, but I can’t emphasize how much my therapist has helped me, and is continuing to help me discover my truth. HRT is a course of action, but so also is just talking to people that are gender affirming of yourself and having them as a care team or as an emotional support system. Also, being part of this group (TGH) has fulfilled in me a sense of community that is welcoming of who I see me as. So, with that ramble, I guess what I value most with my journey is my support system, whether that is from a healthcare team, this site, or others that you trust and value.
Above all, I wish you peace and happiness!