Help for trans/nonbinary ftm HRT decisions?

[Ennis Ira]

Okay, I’m lost and it’s been causing significant distress the last year or more. I am nonbinary but leaning far towards being masc, and my dysphoria is overwhelming over half of the time. I’m terrified to start HRT and commit to that decision, having had difficulty finding trans people to talk to about a similar experience. I’m so scared I’ll regret it. But my dysphoria over my femininity is taking a toll on me. If anyone is in the same boat as me please offer advice! Or just tell me your experiences.

[Shannon]

Hello!  Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry about your dysphoria.  Dysphoria can be quite the beast at times, to say the least. I can’t offer any specific advice as dysphoria occurs along a spectrum and affects people in so many different ways.  And while I’m MtF, I will only be able to speak in regards to the general sense of gender dysphoria.

I go back and forth continuously wondering if I think of myself as nonbinary or as transgender.  Maybe 1% of the time, I’m complacent with being male, but want and wish I was female all other times, and it is sometimes a very strong feeling.  It’s that 1%, though, that I’m just not sure about and it’s that uncertainty that makes me wonder if I’m transgender or nonbinary.  The only advice I can offer is to seek out a care team.  I know that is a rather generic answer, but I can’t emphasize how much my therapist has helped me, and is continuing to help me discover my truth.  HRT is a course of action, but so also is just talking to people that are gender affirming of yourself and having them as a care team or as an emotional support system.  Also, being part of this group (TGH) has fulfilled in me a sense of community that is welcoming of who I see me as.  So, with that ramble, I guess what I value most with my journey is my support system, whether that is from a healthcare team, this site, or others that you trust and value.

Above all, I wish you peace and happiness!

[Ennis Ira]

This is definitely comforting and helpful, I wanted to try and find a therapist that can help me because my current one doesn’t understand the topic, though she is supportive. I know for sure I am nonbinary AND trans, which I’m pretty comfortable with, but it definitely makes things super confusing as far as dysphoria goes. I know I’d love a male body, it’s just scary to go through with HRT. It’s already comforting just getting a response from another trans person, thank you for responding!!!! I hope you the best on your journey <3 <3

[Shannon]

Thanks!  Another bit of information that I’ve found helpful is the World Professional Association of Transgender Health (WPATH), Standards of Care, Version 7 (www.wpath.org).  The WPATH’s Standards of Care is also packed with a lot of valuable references.

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