Reply To: Hello I am new here

DeeAnn Hopings


I think one of the most important things about this site is that people realize they are not alone and that there are many others who have faced, or are facing, the same questions and issues. Above all, it is a journey and not something that gets sorted out in a short period of time. Many have found professional help to be very useful. The human will tend to work to keep things under control and resist change. Left to our own devices, we may avoid or discount topics that we really need to think about. What a good therapist will do is let you process what you’re thinking and what is happening, but not let you skip over the important stuff. One thing that illustrates how the mind works is when we have something distasteful to do or have to talk to someone that we clearly don’t like. Often we will think of all sorts of things to do in order to avoid doing what we need to do.

I think what we all must do is get to that place where we find our groove and that we are comfortable there. It will be different for each of us. For some, nothing short of complete transition will do. For me, I have no plans to physically transition as I don’t have gender dysphoria. However, what I realized 6-7 years ago was that I have always been this amalgam of female and male energies, perspectives and thought processes. As a result, I have essentially transitioned socially. I present as DeeAnn about 90% of the time when I leave my house. I’ve been here in the desert for 5 years and have probably met well over 300 people through clubs, volunteer activities, being a Public Arts Commissioner in my city and political involvements. I am known as DeeAnn. Well, either that of the Hat Lady! Very few have ever met Don. I will present as Don, for example, when an errand will take 30 minutes but it will take me over an hour to get dressed and do makeup. Fortunately I don’t feel bad presenting as Don, but I do prefer to present as DeeAnn. As I said, everyone needs to find that place where they feel comfortable. It may require some compromise, but that’s how it goes.

So, 2 things:

You can search for other members from Washington State by clicking on Social in the menu. There you will see Member Directory. Click on that and it will take you to the search utility.

Also, please complete your Profile page as best you can. It helps other members get a sense of where you are in your journey, how things are going, etc.

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