The thing is I don’t really want to transition! I have fought it for years for a number of reasons!!! The thing is at least for me at least “want” doesn’t have a thing to do with it!!!! I “ want ” my feelings of needing to be Kimmi to go away and they did…… briefly but no longer!!!!! I “ want “ my feelings of panic to go away and for a while they did…….briefly!!
Now my feelings of needing to be me and my feelings of panic grow stronger each day, more insistent each day. For me It is no longer about “ WANT “ it is “MUST “ .
This week in a discussion with someone on line. A “bible Scholar “ told me that the reason I will go to hell when I transition is that God doesn’t look kindly at this elective surgery. When I reach the point of surgeries they will be as life saving as my cancer surgery was 5 years ago.
I feel as though this group for me at least is a life preserver in tears I am thanking all y’all with the deepest gratitude!!❤️