A short hello from Julie

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #90812
    TrulyJulie
    Participant

    Okay, here we go… 🙂

    I’m 60, never imagined a transition could be an option, never really imagined it was something that even applied to me.  Had an adult grandchild (age 23) stay with me for a while, they were first FTM, then non-binary more recently.  This got me thinking about my past.  Had never cross-dressed or had an urge to change – but realized I never felt like I “fit” in the male role, and was always attracted to females.  But never felt totally “male”, like I had to always work at it, and it wasn’t natural or a good fit.  Then this time with my grandchild living with me, was the start of my awakening.

    Still not sure where/how far I’ll go.  I have been on estrogen for about a year now.  I plan to “grow a pair” – but not in the usual sense of that phrase.  🙂

    Slow progress.  And there seems to be a LOT –potentially– to do.  Voice, electrolysis, clothing, mannerisms, FFS, coming out, making new friends, what to do about work, how it will play out with family, wigs, learning makeup, what about libido, etc. etc. etc.  Can be overwhelming thinking about it all at once.

    So I’m chipping away at things here and there.  Bought some clothes a couple of weeks ago.  Was so nervous to put them on…  Took some pictures while dressed.  Realized looking back on the pictures that I looked (and felt) really – happy – while dressed.  Didn’t even have shoes yet, so all the pictures were barefoot.  🙂

    Bought some make-up, tried it one time so far.  It really is going back to the child/puberty stage in a lot of ways.  Going to need a bit more practice.  Have read four books, but the practice is what I need now, no more reading.  Have been wearing a corset pretty much 23/7 and it’s making a difference.  Having a hint of an hourglass shape feels great.

    Then this is the next step (signing up on here, and saying something out loud).  Baby steps.  Forward movement.  Reaching out to others – small step but feels like a big step at the same time.

    Alright, this is supposed to be a “short” hello according to my topic heading, so I better stop here.  🙂

     

    p.s. the wife is out of the country for four months.  Three months down, one to go.  This free time has allowed me to explore in way I never would have if she had been home all the time as usual.  Not sure where it goes when she gets back.  Estrogen has been stealth.  I know some conversation is coming up soon, especially with the latest turn of events.  Need to have that kind of conversation face to face though, when she’s back.  Pretty sure it’s going to have to end up at least as a part-time cross-dressing situation, if not an all the way transition.  I’ve waited this long, so I figure there’s no need to rush it at this point.  We’ve explored with a MFM scenario a couple of times in the past two years – first for both of us – and I would be very open to more of that if she felt the need to have more M presence in the bedroom to stay together.  Oh boy I just laid it all out there in my short hello, huh?!  🙂

     

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    • #90852
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Ambassador

      AMBASSADOR

      Julie:

      One of the great times about coming out is that you get to tell your story, you way. If you get outed, it is basically damage control and your story gets lost in the shuffle. It might be good to think about what you would like to talk about if the situation arises.

      On ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure…

    • #90823
      Marcy McKinnon
      Participant

      FREE

      Hiya Julie! Hi again, I should say.

      Damn, your story hits home in a lot of places. The stealth, as I live with my parents and they’re aware of so little of it, is particularly familiar. Vocal training is the hardest habit to adopt, but I found a guide on reddit, that’s given a great starting point so far.

      Holding to masculine ideals was never dear to my heart, either, I was always the kid on their own while the other boys played football (soccer). All the banter and bravado of men has just been a fun spectator sport, from the fringe of inclusion there as a cis guy.

      Have you tried plucking as a solution to beard shadow? I couldn’t get a close shave without breaking out in pimples, but once I picked up a pair of tweezers and plucked every visible hair as it grew long enough to get a hold of, I was hooked. It’s my favourite pass time now.

      Nice to meet you, Julie, keep us updated on where your journey takes you, no matter how little distance those baby steps gain.

      Maybe keep the MFM stuff to a private message, though, hehe.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
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