A unique hello

[D]

Hello everyone!

Im ‘D’. Born and publicly identify as male, but experience a strong gender dysphoria, specifically a top or chest dysphoria.

After lots of self discovery and research, i met with a nurse practitioner that specializes in transgender care and started HRT for breast growth.

Curious to know if there are others like me, as I have searched but not found any similar cases.

 

[Carla Roberts]

Hello D,

It is your choice to be your authentic self, whatever form that takes. I felt that I could not be anything but either or, because I still bought into the binary construct that our culture has imposed on us. When I began the process of transition several years ago, there was still the requirement, at least with therapist in my area, the need to present in your target gender role prior to any surgeries. I began HRT with the goal of breast development, and as progressed through therapy, I became more comfortable with being gender fluid, and presenting as either male or female, as I desired. Part of this was to preserve the relationship with the woman I love who is very accepting and affirming. Other factors I considered, cost, dangers, and job loss, so all in all, I have been able to transition emotionally, and I generally present as female. I am very fortunate to be able to pass as female, and almost all of my community of friends know me as Carla, and even though when I don’t wear makeup or my hair is a fright, they still call me Carla.
it is still confusing for some folks, with whom I am casual acquaintances, but over time I have accepted the fact that it is okay to be myself, in whatever way I chose. I think a lot of my comfort has come with being much older, and no longer caring what people think. I won’t say that has been easy, but I can say it does get better.

Carla

[D]

Hi Carla!

I greatly appreciate your reply!

Some of the things im discovering along this journey are, there seems to be 2 dominant ‘themes’ im encountering, no matter if its in real life, or here on forums and chat groups…

First, there seems to be an overabundance of judgemental, unfriendly people in the LGBTQ+ community. It feels like everywhere I turn, I am met with ridicule, skepticism and doubt, to flat out hostility. Its almost like the only acceptable form of HRT is what full M2F transpersons deem acceptable. Or, ” if you arent fully transitioning, what are you doing? Its not even possible to do what you are saying”, etc… Its extremely discouraging, disheartening, and makes me feel very isolated from a community Im supposed to belong to.

The second is that communication groups for adults seem to be all but non existant, at least in my area. Lots of help for youth, but near nothing for adults.

I guess, overall, im just feeling very alone in this adventure of self discovery, and had high hopes of finding a community of likeminded individuals, experiencing similar personal journeys, but sadly it appears to be all fantasy

• This reply was modified 4 years ago by D.

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