- Erase my past
- I admit my transgender designation
- Reveal my transgender identity to a select few.
- June 26, 2020 at 8:56 am #85895Lorie PeaceParticipant
I’ve been wondering how many people that transition (or are transitioning) no longer identify as transgender, and how many use that identifier in public or in certain situations.
- January 15, 2021 at 8:23 pm #92766Loki SamudratiraFREE
Like so many of you, I just want to get to a point that I don’t have an uphill battle to openly be a woman in society. However, I have a backstory that I will not be able to erase and biological markers that won’t go away. So, where I want to be at is accepted as a binary woman but not have to fear for my life every time a friend finds out that I might not have been born a woman.
I haven’t started transition for reasons not under my control at the moment, but I plan to. The journey to me is affirming and celebrating my unfolding as a woman. But, the truth of the matter is, no matter how happy I may be, I will be a trans-woman. Even with the GD right now and all the huge chaos realizing myself as a trans-woman has been and will be, I wouldn’t throw that away. I’m me and expressing myself, little bit by little bit. I don’t want to hide things, but I don’t want to flaunt it either. I didn’t choose to be trans, but I do choose to heal and be wholy myself, which comes with an acceptance that I will leave “footprints” of my transformation. It’s already cost me some friends and plenty of initial hardship. I don’t have to create more unnecessarily but I am not going to be ashamed of me.
That sounds bolder and braver than I feel, but I see no better choice than to embrace me, accept that I am a different woman than those born as one and live as the best woman I can be!
- January 13, 2021 at 10:48 am #92671
- January 2, 2021 at 1:19 pm #92289Andrea JayneSILVER
My history is my history. But I’ve been Andrea all my life. Only I knew it. And now my spouse does. I don’t know if it’s important for a label. Who I am is my truth. For now I’m still male. Andrea is there but not fully out. My goal is to someday be introduced as Andrea Jayne. Whether that comes with a clarification will be determined by the situation and my truth at that moment. AJ.
- January 2, 2021 at 4:59 am #92284
well it was like this for me when i was very young at 4 or 5 i started to have dreams i was girl and i started to sneck and wear my mother panties and would watch my mother closely about how she world dress and do her make up and other things i wanted so much to be like her and over time i keep feeling i was a girl and just always felt like i was one so i would say i’m a women
- January 1, 2021 at 11:07 pm #92279Radia KHFREE
for me its the fact that my experiences are not that of a cis person at all. I will never relate to them. I feel and think completely differently and I do not want to pretend thats how i think and feel. I am proud of being trans despite it all, and am fine with being open with it. I would seriously never choose to be cis. I worked too hard for that. I know some people see it differently and thats okay. perhaps my opinion is because i dont exactly want to be considered either woman or man. I am just a TS/TG person.
- December 21, 2020 at 3:04 am #91782Phoenix CaymanFREE
To be honest, I do not like identifying as trans-anything, because it makes me feel very artificial. I want to identify as just being a man. Of course, I will never be a “real” man because I was born female, after all.
That being said, I feel like a snake, a deceiver, a demon even. I don’t want this and want to fight it, but I think doing that is making me very suicidal and unhappy with myself. I want to be a cisgendered, normal woman…..but I am not.
- December 18, 2020 at 9:16 am #91690Terri WernerFREE
Give up my past ?
Hell no !
It is what defines me on who I’m today . Events over my life whether those experiences were positive or negative is where I needed to be at the moment in time . Those experiences from my past aided me in the future when things would get patchy and still do . They are a valuable resource . I forgot about those expiences and outcomes over the years until I found this site , effects of this have already started positive changes creating new experiences and renewed love for my self .
I don’t disclose who I’m when asked and any male relation I get into I make sure he knows that I’m a post op trans woman and leave it up him on whether he wants to continue commuicating , if not that is his choice and no skin off my nose . Anything else it’s always female . Even on forms that I have to fill out . Labeling myself is one thing , having others hang a label over me is something totally different .
- December 4, 2020 at 3:47 pm #91329
- November 26, 2020 at 11:51 pm #91125Jemma SchumpertFREE
My dream would be to transition completely and live life fully and without explanation as a woman. I would only reveal my transition to those I include in my inner circle of true friends and anyone that I might become romantically involved with. It is already annoying and tiresome to have to “explain” myself using sexual terms and I anticipate the constant asterisk of Trans before woman would be beyond irritating.
Having said all that, I fully realize that in the strictest sense I will never be a “true” woman. After all my DNA will not change, and the half century of being a man will leave a most indelible mark regardless of how much I erase. Because of that, I would feel dishonest in my close personal relationships if I were to not tell the truth. In fact, at first it was difficult to adjust my voice since it felt dishonest to me. After years of lying about my identity and hiding my true self, I long for the day that I can just live my life and not have to explain at all other than my choice of shoes!!
- November 15, 2020 at 11:30 am #90668Jamie HarrisSILVER
I am an older trans female and even though I have a male size body I can pass as female when dressed and with makeup on. So to the casual observer I am female. Due to work constraints I have not done my gender marker change yet and so when I have to present my identification it becomes an obvious subject and I have to explain. I look nothing like my driver’s license photo. But if a person I meet does not know my former life then I am not going to tell them I lived in a male body. I will only tell someone that needed to know.
Would I tell a potential date? Yes I would if I had not physically transitioned. I think that a lot of the young trans girls that get hurt when dating did not reveal this information when they started and the guy became angry and enraged when they found out.
- November 13, 2020 at 8:47 pm #90630DeeAnn HopingsAMBASSADOR
Typically I say that I identify as transgender and non-binary. I rarely use the term trans woman as I feel it isn’t specific enough for me. It may be for others, but that isn’t my concern.
I lived 66 years as Don and nearly 6 as DeeAnn. For me it would be silly to pretend that those 66 years did not exist. I can’t see circumstances that would force me to change my mind…
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- November 13, 2020 at 5:04 pm #90627Kara SumtymesFREE
Long story short,,,, for (Me)- I am (both) !!! When I feel like I want to be Kara I go out dressed up as,, Kara &,,,, I like/enjoy it & in male mode,,,, I like being male also,,, Peace +++
- November 13, 2020 at 12:35 pm #90611April KingAMBASSADOR - EDITOR
At 62 I have too much history, my beautiful children and wife and so many good memories to ever want to forget who I was. As has been said below, I can’t change the past, so why deny it to those who ask. I want to move forward as the person I want to be, but I love my family and I would never deny our history together.
- August 31, 2020 at 9:51 am #88318
Well done Erica. You be who you are. Stand tall be strong. I just getting started. This morning my sister confessed she had told the rest of the family about me being transgender. ftm. She wasn’t to say anything, until I was ready to tell them my self. But she did. To my surprise they are ok with it. And will be supportive, and love me no matter what. She said its ok to talk to them about it, not to be afraid. So I am feeling better about contacting the rest of my family. But I will do it my way, one at a time, as to not overwhelm my self with to much at a time. My sister wants to be there for me when I go for surgeries. We will take it one step at a time, She is afraid of flying so I don’t know if she will go with me when the time comes. But that’s not happening anytime soon. I told her I forgive her for what she did, and family is for ever. I come from a big family a total of 8 siblings 7 still living. And I love them all.
- August 31, 2020 at 8:10 am #88314Erica MitchellFREE
I am 3 years into HRT and have been living as female gender for 2 years, but I consider and refer to myself as transgender and always will, even after having bottom surgery (hopefully, some day). This is my own personal feeling and not a judgement on anyone else, but I feel in my case that I love and respect women too much to try to claim that I am just like them. I grew up as a male, so I don’t know what it’s like to grow up female, have never had to deal with menstruation or the possibility of getting pregnant, etc.
That being said, I am proud to call myself transgender and am not afraid to proclaim it or talk about it with anyone. I must add that in my case it’s hard to do otherwise because I’m 6’4″, broad shouldered, with big feet and a deep voice, so I stand out at a distance as trans, rather than cis gendered. This fact prevented me from summoning up the courage to transition until fairly late in life, but now that I have made that decision I know that it is the best decision I ever made. So, I can’t ever “pass”–okay, I have long since made my peace with that. I don’t give a damn what other people may think of me. I do my best to look as feminine as I can whenever I walk out my door–clothes, hair, make up, jewelry, etc. , and actually get a surprising amount of compliments, although almost exclusively from women. Many guys seem to be rather uncomfortable around me, but despite living in a very rural and fairly conservative area, no one has ever hassled me. The only time I’ve ever been insulted to my face in the 2 years since I came out was in liberal Portland, Oregon–go figure!
- August 29, 2020 at 8:33 am #88262
- August 29, 2020 at 2:42 am #88243
You go girl! Own it like the proud lady you are. 🙂
- August 28, 2020 at 11:54 pm #88241https://transgenderheaven.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/woman-b14-2.jpgAnonymous
I will never deny my past. That said, I don’t feel the need to tell the world either. My past is what brought me to where I am today, and to deny my past is to deny who I am. I am proud of the person I am now, and the person I was before Jenni. But my past does not dictate my future interaction with the world, I do and my future belongs in the hands of me, Jenni, the woman I have, in truth, always been.
- August 7, 2020 at 3:17 pm #87571
Hello My name is Jace Valen Wesley I am Transgender man. And I to am gender identity late in life, I’ve been coming out to close friends and family. I live in Thunder Bay Ontario Canada. Right now I am getting very frustrated trying to find doctors to talk to to help me get started on hormone replacement and to have top surgery done as soon as possible. My life is a night mare coming out this late in life, makes me feel like I am running out of time to enjoy the rest of my life as the real me, Being unhappy for 50 years, hiding who I am was not fun. I just want to be me to be happy I could live another 40 or 45 years, and I do not want to live it as I am. I need help any one who can point me in the right direction to get it. Would be very much appreciate. I need a friend
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- August 7, 2020 at 12:08 pm #87567
Hey everyone. I have tried to leave my past behind but people just won’t leave me alone. All of the born females I know fully accept me and really make an effort to accept me. Honest help with make-up and clothing are the biggest plus, but it all comes down to you have to be who you are. I help with legal hasssels some of my friends have and put them in contact with resources as much as I can (I am also a social worker). Any time you challenger the status quo you can be assured you will have problems. Just be you.
- August 6, 2020 at 9:27 pm #87551DeeAnn HopingsAMBASSADOR
While I have no plans to physically transition, my social transition is essentially done. The only thing left would be changing my personal documents, but I don’t see a lot of benefit in that. The vast majority of people that I have met since I retired and relocated to the SoCal desert only know me as DeeAnn. Very few have ever met Don. I do leave my house sometimes as Don, but that is rare and usually due to expediency. Occasionally someone will ask about being transgender and I will answer accordingly, unless someone wants to ask medical questions. Unless you are a medical professional and I’m in your office, I will not answer those questions.
Anyway, when asked about pronouns, I always say she and hers.
- July 31, 2020 at 3:02 pm #87171Cindy ReborneSILVER
I am transitioning late in life. My old friends have given me constant rebuttal. It has not changed my ultimate. Once I came out to them it was very liberating. I only go by Cindy now. I listen to positive affirmations and now have more confidence. I’ve had my moments but since I started HRT, the SWORD of Damocles no longer hangs over my head. Just enjoy your real self.
- July 16, 2020 at 1:22 pm #86803
I love your comments! As one who started her new journey in the later stages of her life, I find it very difficult to hide my past when so many knew my former self.. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!
- July 16, 2020 at 6:37 am #86796Stephanie KennedySILVER
Its a great question I believe I will always be a transgender woman. This life long battle has just worn me out. I was not born with the body that matched my brain. I have to accept I will never be considered a “woman’ by society in general. It is enough that this community does accept me . I no longer have any shame about who I am. That was huge for me . Trying to explain to others out side this community WHY I feel this way is just getting tiresome. I know they will never understand. How could they? It must be wonderful to be born with a body and brain that were in sync with each other . No matter how much success I ever achieved in my life, my gender identity always came into question by me. I hid it from most and only expressed it when i got tired of hiding. That should of been settled at birth so long ago. I guess I am still a little angry about having to still deal with this issue. It just will not go away. Maybe the reason for these feelings i have are getting so much more intense is a reminder that this issue needs to be resolved. I have no problem defending or even advocating for those who have our issue because these feelings are real and you in this community are proof. We do have to work together an support each other so that future generations that may have to deal with this issue can get the help they need before their bodes start to change. Just a few thoughts Luv Stephanie
- July 16, 2020 at 2:35 am #86795JaiymeLynne RogersGOLD
Wow such great comments so far. I especially like Joy’s line about seeing a stranger in the mirror in male mode. I have those feelings as well, and when I look at JaiymeLynne I see myself, if that makes sense. I think people from my past will have to know, then if they accept me, I will accept that. New people in my life, as I get to know, build relationships, if I get close enough I think I would come out as transgender. If Iwere to have GRS, then I believe I am a woman then, and would live as and be a woman to everyone. Not sure if that is in my future, but things change as we move along the path.
- July 15, 2020 at 11:54 pm #86792Patrice Sav 18FREE
Great poll question. This is a question hugely on my mind right now. I’m known to a lot of people in my community and people are going to notice as my changes take place. I think it would be easier to leave the past behind if I could but that might hurt the people I’m close with and in my case it’s not really possible. I’m 6 weeks into hrt so trans here I come!
- July 13, 2020 at 7:00 am #86659Miss CloéMANAGING AMBASSADOR
I have no problem revealing my being transgender, but it’s not my lead story. Basically it’s on a need to know basis. If it somehow builds up a relationship either business, friend, romantic or otherwise then I will likely reveal it. If it could be destructive of such then why do it? But, to the question about community. I have no problem representing community as a member, whether I do it as an advocate I’m not sure. I’d need some convincing to go there.
- July 12, 2020 at 11:40 pm #86645SophieFRMANAGING EDITOR
I think there are many answers that could be made here.
My transition is not complete and still waiting for the virus chaos to end so it surgey can be scheduled. Three appoinments canceled in the past three months for the run up meeting with all staff involved in the procedure.
When I found it essental to tell my family, and specifically with my son and daughter, I told them that I can only be their father until the day I die albeit I didn’t wish to be ‘outed’ in public by using that word. In private my daughter will call me Dad. My son cannot agree to meet me in person and the present situation keeps it from being possible in addition. But I have good relationships with both as with the whole of my family.
I have no issue discussing who I am with anyone if they approach that with respect. I divulge my history to those I like and want in my life and only them. I know that a number of people are aware I am Transgender and fine with that being the case.
My perspective is that no other person goes about thier daily life feeling they need to explain who they are! Why should I? While I use the word Transgender to describe myself to many, I am a person who has made my choice of how I choose to life it. By subscribing to ‘Tags’ we play the game os isolation, division etc and one which I have contenton with. A tool of the media and ruling forces that can plant concepts and bad thoughts about u and other sectors of the humanity. Watch the documentary Disclosure,about and made by trans people, to see what I mean for yourself. Imagine what a powerful force we could be if we were able to unite as one, we would be a very large and powerful group to face with and try to control
Stay strong ladies and have faith and belief in yourself xx
- July 1, 2020 at 4:55 am #86013Dawn JAMBASSADOR
With transition, I would consider myself, fully, a woman and that’s how I would present & identify with new contacts. However, there is family & there are people with whom I would still need to associate that knew me as male. I’d have no choice but to identify as transgendered with them.
- June 29, 2020 at 5:14 pm #85977Abigail MajorsSILVER
I am me. who I was will never change, but who I will be always is changing. I cannot change who I was born as, and I have to accept it.
That being said, even after I transition, even if I have bottom surgery, I will prefer to be referred to as who I am then, but willing to be open and honest about who I was.
I cannot change who I was. I can only work to change who I will be.
- June 26, 2020 at 10:10 pm #85913Joy DouglasFREE
I am who I am. Labeled male at birth but female in my mind and heart. I just want to be who I am without the pressure to ‘pass’ because when I look in the mirror and see Joy I smile and say I like you. When I’m in ‘guy’ mode it feels like I’m looking at a stranger.
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