Big Girls Don’t Cry

Are you human?

How often are we really allowed to show our true emotional self’s. And when we do does it make us better people?

You must be logged in to participate.
  • Yes
  • No
  • Maybe
  • Maybe Not


Viewing 19 reply threads
  • Author
    • #133628
      Dana Munson

      So, first off, I didn’t vote. The “poll” actually posed three different questions, not all of which could necessarily be responded to with the same “yes” or “no”.  That said . . .

      Absolutely, showing emotion is a good, healthy thing. That whole macho  “bottle it up,” “keep it inside” attitude can lead to a lot of frustration and anger . . . which can get acted out in some not very pleasant ways.  Obviously, too, the other extreme – crying and emoting all the time – can get in the way of being able to lead a productive life.  There is a balance point between those extremes for each of us, and we need to find it and get comfortable with it.

      As a guy, I would tear up at times when, for example, a song contained some truly touching lyrics. Or at an especially emotional scene in a movie.  I was a little self-conscious about that, but I didn’t feel it made me a wimp or anything negative. It just showed I wasn’t a stone cold rock.

      Like some other girls, I welcome whatever emotional adventures await me when the doc finally begins administering the estradiol (or whatever). I’m legally female now and I will not mind one bit if some clod thinks I cry a bit too much.  🙂

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #115817

      After living for so long as an emotional cripple (unless you count anger) I’ll relish every single tear I shed and count myself fortunate to have survived long enough to begin to live!

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #115572

      What a load of horse poo.  As I have just spent the last 20 minutes hiding in my room sobbing over emotions brought up, because I read a different girls post.


      It is ok to cry? 😢 It is ok to be sad? 😔  It makes us human.  I am human aren’t I?




      Mia ,


      Even though this is a older posted I vote yes . If your heart feels like crying let it cry , let the tears flow , let that pain out . Doesn’t make you any lesser of a person sharing what is inside or how you feel . I have read post and articles and have done the same , some tears of joy others it saddens me . I’m grateful for those tears they have helped me become a stronger woman .



      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #103014
      Tonya G

      I’ve always been a cryer. Found myself unable to respond to certain situations because I would get so choked up I was unable to speak. A literal emotional lump in my throat. My therapist says I’m hyper empathetic. Frustrating when you can’t get the words out. I cry during movies and music. I’m a wreck after some Beatle songs. Not sure if it’s ok or not but as Popeye says “I yam what I yam “


      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #133010

        Thanks Tonya, I was taught from a baby that boys don’t cry. The term transgender was unheard of in those days. Yes I was born with a male body. But everyone knew I was feminine too. So I had to learn to out run the bullies, and outfight the ones who could outrun me.
        But I cried myself to sleep every night, but not before stuffing my little penis back into the hole it produced from and putting my little teddybear between my legs as I rolled over on my belly to hold it inside. I wanted only to be the girl I knew I was!

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #133021

          Hi Cindy, big girls DO cry, and before that, before I transitioned I cried a lot as well.
          I cry when listening to music, watching movies, seeing beautiful things like sunsets, flowers, and even after reading posts from girls like you. 🙂
          Having a box of Kleenex next to me is always a good thing!

          Big hug,

          Ms. Lauren M

    • #103013

      Of course it’s OK to cry and be sad.  To deny ourselves the emotion and the outlet would be denying our humanity.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #100649

      I have always been way too emotional for a man, and shown it, even though I have tried not to.  I am way more emotional than my wife.  Since coming out she realises why.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #102978

        Me too…way more emotional than her! And it has gotten worse as I have softened emotionally…

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #100669

        Hi Sharon,

        You and me both! I have always thought it good to express my emotions even if those around me thought otherwise. Crying, laughing… the whole range… and in a country that espoused the silent male accomplishing great feats without emotion other than a wry smile from time to time.
        Why has it been men who have been confined in an emotional prison for so long? Training, tradition… there are a bunch of names for it… but why?
        My wife is very closed emotionally and it manifests in explosions rather than a slower, natural release. One can change behaviours much easier than one’s emotions though it can be done. Due to severe depression I have had crying, nay, weeping spells that have felt uncontrollable so have taken meds to suppress. Not very good!
        I tend to cry due to joy and happiness these days… also my meds are spot on for depression so I experience only a clear mind.

        Love Polly

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #100637

      I ask myself this question whenever I allow my addiction to call the shots for a few rounds.  Never ends well.

      What’s worse than a drug addict?  A mtf trans addict.  Go against societal norms and morals by being addicted to drugs- shame on you!   Go against gender norms as well- at the same time!   Hand over the human card.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #94118

      Growing up as a child (boy), I was always told not to cry. I believe this is harming to children no matter their gender. Is there anything wrong with giving a crying child a hug and telling them everything will be ok? My gut feeling is this happens rarely in our world.

      Emotions ebb and flow. I have had tears for things like a homeless dog, an abused person, a sad movie, and also tears of joy. I have also had times where I just needed a good cry to cleanse my emotions.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #91388
      DeeAnn Hopings

      I assume that all who have replied to this thread were Assigned Male At Birth (AMAB). The significance of that is how we were raised.

      We grew up in a world where we were treated as males and it also defined the expectations held out for us. One of those expectations was emotional distance. I can think of only a few situations where it was OK to express emotion: grief, when your child is born and when your daughter gets married. Being emotional was “allowed”.

      However, as we discover this feminine aspect of our being, we realize that the rules no longer apply. It is OK to show emotion and in fact, expected. If we are not OK with that, it is probably because we haven’t let go of our prior conditioning…

    • #90564

      After bottling up my emotions for 30+ years, (which resulted in constant anger) I was able to really let myself go, and have a body shaking cry after about a month on E.  It was amazing, and crying has become a wonderful tool for releasing negative emotions, celebrating positive things, and sometimes just because.     Even posting this made me leak a little.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #90560

      Living as a male I botted up all of the emotions and it was not good for me. If I did cry I was intensely embarrassed.

      As a female with no testosterone in me but with a female puberty level of Estrogen I cry all of the time. I cry when my trigger points are pushed. I can cry when I am happy and I cry when I am sad.  Because I do not have the walls up anymore around my heart and soul. I am a better person now that the walls around my heart have been torn down. I consider it my right as a female to cry. It has nothing to do with any particular clothes I am wearing. I have always had a female heart and soul but now I am free to express it.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #90552

      tough question i chose no for the reason that we are all human no matter what we are or what color what ever.    so if we dress like woman and act like one we are still human, so there would be no change. we all get treated the same way if you were male or female. but then some people treat people like not a human person at all so that is why i said no.  but i could be wrong.  but it was a tough question could of ask more info on who a human could be treated.  like r u being treated more like a female when dressed up better then when you are dressed as a male.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #87680

      I am anxiously waiting for that exciting part of my transition to kick in. My doctor said it will happen ,so be prepared for a siesmic change. I have been a stone wall all through my male excistence. Now that I am going through my transition. I want to embrace my feminine life. I desperately want those emotions. In fact, I want to be far away from my rough persona of the past. I will be the most gentle woman I can be. With my HRT, every day is a sweet, step forward into a better future.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #87679

      Looking at how humanity has conducted itself over the past millennia, I’m not sure i want to be human any more. I certainly wasn’t treated as one for so many years i started to believe i wasn’t. one of the lowest points in my life. Never doubt you are human. We are closer to the image of God than those who would have us believe otherwise.

      My true emotional self is what drives me. My work is an expression of this. I think it has made me a better person, so long as I am bringing light instead of darkness.


      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #84921
      DeeAnn Hopings

      By nature, humans are emotional beings. However, the real problem comes when emotions are suppressed…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #35071

      If crying means I’m human then I certainly am. But I’ve also failed so many reCAPTCHA tests that I’m fairly sure I’m a robot too.  Love you ladies….

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #133627
        Dana Munson

        Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Really loved your “failed CAPTCHA” comment!  Nice one!

    • #34997


      I find it difficult to cry in public because I am to busy with loading and aiming a come-back to/at the butt head trying to make me cry. But when my P.H.D. informed me I would be a woman, I did single stream from both eyes, If that qualifies? I did feel awesome after my cry and a little more human, (if you will).. In writing this I guess I feel as though I should let things out more and curb the animositary responses I tend to vent due to my family’s past behavior causing my defensive response.

      Miriya I have been meditating which causes me to think more before I speak. But crying is a tool I will try along with meditation and will let you know the ( if’s and or when”s ) girl.

      Huggz Tia

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #35025
        Miriya Paris

        Tia, emotion is the next step to emptyness in meditation.  It will come when you are ready and if I may I will show you how.



      • #35007

        Hi ladies I cry when I am sad truly sad cannot help it. I have been conditioned to be a man so pretend I am not sad and turn my back while wiping away my years. I have testosterone being pumped through my brain on a daily basis . I am not that imotional due to the both It did not make me less sad. I really do not want to be so sad I would cry. That would be really sad.

    • #34994

      Who doesn’t like a good cry?  I mean, letting go of your emotions that we often put up a wall to hide them.  A good tear-jerker movie, a very happy moment, etc., why not let those tears flow.  I read somewhere that when a man cries, it releases increased testosterone!  Now, some are saying “Ewww! I don’t want that!”  I don’t mind shedding a tear anymore, I’m on t-blockers.  As long as my makeup holds up through the tears!

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #34883
      Miss Cloé

      We are human and any attempts to make us think otherwise are the ultimate act of gas-lighting.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #34744

      I’m human. As if! I actually was arguing with a bi+ cis woman about trans mysogyny, oppression, all the money I’ve lost due to all the discriminations cisgender transphobes ($340,000 at last tally and counting) and at the end of it she actually said she didn’t think trans folx were human! What else would I be, seriously, the audacity! Omg, I hope this dumb assery of cisgender folx ENDS. Just stop already.

      • #34852

        I have to smile. I use to think that being trans was  like hearing from people that were abducted by aliens we all had similar story we all started recognizing it around same age we are from all over the world but I do think we are human. We are just special ❤️

        2 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 19 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

©2023 Transgender Heaven | Privacy | Terms of Service | Contact Vanessa | Affiliate

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Transgender Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

If you don't see the captcha above please disable ad and tracking blockers and reload the page.