Butterfly; an emotional drama on UK tv

[Melanie Taylor]

Hi folks,

I just thought I’d share my feelings about the new 3 part drama on UK tele on Sunday evenings. It’s about a pre 11 yr old boy who decides they were born in the wrong gender and makes the big decision to live as a girl.

There are a few parallels with my experiences growing up feeling very similarly, I too wore my mum’s clothing whenever I got the chance. The urge was so strong but I just didn’t have the courage to speak my mind in the face of strong parental disapproval. I too self harmed and wanted to die at times because the person who I wanted to be was denied me. I too was ruthlessly bullied for being “gay” when I was just very confused. I thought; how can anyone else love me when I cannot love myself?

Unfortunately I didn’t have a big sister to comfort me and buy girly clothes with. I had to struggle on alone with my feelings, inner turmoil and shame. That I was not behaving how society expected that I should. I too was hit, beaten hard for liking feminine things and of course it hurt emotionally too but it kind of galvanised me that one day I would break free of my shackles and let Melanie free into the world.

I am working with  life coach now, a lovely woman called Kat who I can relate to. I gave told her some of my story; time has not allowed for all. It is over 40 year’s worth after all.

I will be following this Butterfly drama with interest to see how Max becomes Maxine, how her school treats her and what she’s allowed and not allowed to do. Above all, I want to follow the parent’s story too, whether rejection eventually turns to acceptance and how they grieve for the “loss” of their son and whether it is tempered by the gain of a daughter.

Bye for now, hugs andxx

From Melanie

[Dame Veronica Graunwolf]

Well, Melanie…………I am really at a loss for words about your little story. Very powerful statement in a few words.

All I can do here is let the tears fall.

Hugs………..

Dame Veronica

[Melanie Taylor]

Hi Dame Veronica

I must admit I cried watching the programme; it brought so many memories flooding back. Being beaten, hearing my patents arguing, the buckets of tears I must have cried and of course being bullied no mattet which school I attended and I frequently didn’t!. I have no idea how mucj school I had missed through fear, illness and injury. I try not to wonder how many broken bones, sprains and bruises really were accidents (not all of them). But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and watching frogs and birds or hunting for wild flowers instead of sitting in class or on the sports pitch has stood me in good stead for the job I have now. I wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.

Love from Mel.xx

[𝓜𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓒𝓁ℴℯ́ 💋💋]

Melanie, your words meant so much I felt such a connection yet never went through much of the pain you did.  I had let shame force me into deep hiding for far too many years which somehow feels like the cowards way.  But, I am now at peace because I finally got on the path I should have been on long ago.  I wish we could see the series here in the states.

 

Hugs, Cloe

 

[Tory Bailey]

As a part of accepting the feminine part of myself, I have been exploring my interest in anime and manga, something I had feared to be something too girly for a grown man to do.  This led me to the manga Hourou Musuko, or Wandering Son, the story of a trans girl chronicling her years from acquiring a love of crossdressing in elementary school to preparing to transition to female as she finishes high school.  While the translation made later parts of the story difficult to follow, I found myself relating to a lot of the dysphoria that she and some of the other characters go though.  It was actually a very satisfying read and brought back a lot of memories that helped me to understand myself better.

[Melanie Taylor]

Hi sisters

The second of three episodes of the trans gender drama Butterfly was shown last night. No less poignant than the first. Max, an 11 yr old who identifies as female continues her journey towards being Maxine.

Apart from all the bullying at school; two scenes really stood out for me:

The mother and big sister are supportive, the father and grandmother are not.

Maxine locks herself in the bathroom and attempts to remove her male genitals with a shard of broken glass. The mother forces the bathroom door just in time and rescues her child. An almighty row erupts between mother and father when the latter finds out the mother had been encouraging Maxine to dress as a girl at home. The mother replies “I’d rather have a happy daughter than a dead son”.

The second was when the sternly disapproving grandmother finds out about the transition process. Maxine is at this point attending school in the girl’s uniform; skirt and tights. The grandmother fixes Maxine with a fierce glare and declares “you’re no grandson of mine!”. To which Maxine replies sweetly “I know I’m not”.

What a brilliant answer. Can’t wait for the next episode. This one ended with Maxine and her mother en route to Boston USA to attend a clinic for therapy not granted in the UK.

Love and hugs from Melanie xxxx

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