Fear of transitioning

  • Creator
  • #91396
    Rainie Liam

    Hey! So first off, thank you all for creating and maintaining this place, it means the world to me ❤ My situation is I’m 24 years old and I’m experiencing dysphoria (mtf). I’ve always had thoughts like these but they’ve been getting a lot worse lately. I understand that dysphoria and the desire to fully transition and “pass” as cis female are not everyone’s shared experience but they’re very much the case for me. I’m afraid of transitioning because of how society and the people around me may treat me because of it, but specially because I fear I may never become who I see myself as. I feel like the way I’m built will make it impossible to be the cute girl I want to be, I look very manly in the traditional sense (very broad shoulders, hairy body, kinda deep voice, stuff like that). Is that a common fear? Is it something I should worry so much about? Maybe seeing transition examples of people who looked like me originaly could help?

    5 users thanked author for this post.
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  • Author
    • #93046
      Stacy Ann May

      Hi Rainie, welcome to the site!

      I think this is a common concern among almost all people. I believe it’s important to remember that even the most beautiful cis person feels their appearance is flawed in some way and is envious of some physical traits of others. Often the feeling of despair over not being able to have the kind of physical appearance we desire the most can lead to frustration and depression. These feelings can be amplified in a transgender person’s case.

      In my case, I just treat the feeling of not being able to physically measure up to my own ultimate ideal as just one of the many difficult truths of life. As much as I may want it, I don’t have a magical wand to turn me into a genetic female and replace everyone’s memories of me from before with memories of me as I always was inside. The important thing for me is to focus on the present and accept what is. I try to look at the many truths of life as things that need to be dealt with and ultimately accepted, not endlessly fought and struggled with.

    • #93037

      It brings to mind a meme I saw:


      “What if I fail?”

      “Oh, but dear, what if you succeed?”


      If we don’t try, we won’t know.

    • #91404
      Jamie Harris

      Since I live in Texas and you are in Argentina it is not easy for me to determine the culture in specific places down there and their acceptance of being trans.  But what I have learned is that the fear that we experience is normal. Most of the fear is not warranted but is self created because of the unknown factors in regards to transitioning.

      I am a 64 year old trans female. I used to be very nervous going out into town dressed as a female; sneak into the car when no neighbors are watching, etc. Now I could care less what my neighbors or anyone else think and just go. I am out in town almost every day and you just have to act like every other woman.

      If  you have not yet involvement in a local trans group is very important. You will need local friends that you can learn and receive support from.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #91398

      welcome to TGH, Rainie.  I think you have found a good site to make yourself at home.  Please join in on the chat room, and read the forums and the articles, and by all means, ask questions and add your thoughts.  We’re a pretty friendly group, with lots of love, support, understanding…..oh, yeah, we might laugh a lot now and again.  Looking forward to seeing you on the site and getting to know you.

      Being afraid of transitioning is not at all uncommon.   There are lots of unknowns to consider and become clear about.  I’m sure you will find all kinds of support, advice, and friendship here.   I’m soo glad you joined us.

      Peace and Love      Carly

      2 users thanked author for this post.
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