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I am 30yrs old, will be 31 in February 2021.
Since I was young, I have always felt I was different from everyone. I use to prefer making friends with Females rather than Males! I used struggle with friendships with other males, and was subject to severe bullying, at Primary & Secondary Schools. 😔
Due to the severe bullying, my Dr medically signed me off education for my last 2 years of secondary school, with no qualifications. I did however attend College and gained qualifications there, highest being a First Diploma.
I always felt feminine inside, but I was always told ‘stop being stupid, you are a boy!’.
I’ve for many years, Collected/Purchased various items of Female Clothing & Underwear, in which I wear privately within my Bedroom.
My stash has been found on many occasions, by my brother (2 years younger!) whom has no respect for anyones privacy… He is very against Transgenders, and he no respect towards me and would rather cause embarrassment and use black mail against me for being different.
I’ve remained hidden within a bubble and continued dressing feminine privately, I have gone out at night on occasions dressed in female clothing, with make up etc.
During 2019 & 2020, I ordered some breast enlarging/enhancement creams from Super Drug & had also used Naturaful too. Since using these, my breats have developed slightly and I fully fill a 40A Bra!! I still has aches & pains within my breasts now, even though I run out of creams 2 months ago, and haven’t been able to afford anymore. 😔
This bubble is at bursting point, I have been feeling really down the last year and this month has been the worst ever! The desire to dress more and more, I’ve refused to have my hair cut for 2months, I’ve purchased more female clothing & underwear.
My mother asked me if I was Gay, a couple weeks ago, after finding a Bra in my room that I forgot to put away, and I said no! I am struggling to find away of telling her, I am transgender and want to be female.
I’ve already chosen a New First, Middle & Last Name for myself.
I’ve not told anyone else yet either, however since getting back in contact with my cousins in August, after 12 years apart, one of them who is 20, I get on with amazingly well and the amount of trust etc we have between us both, is overwhelming. She said to me in a private chat together last month, that I am very feminine in the way I act and talk, what’s my plans? She’s worked me out, but I chickened out and dismissed her. We’re still talking though 😉
I am currently awaiting for my GP Surgery to reopen and I’ll be making an appointment, I’ll tell them how I feel and get the ball rolling first. Or am I wrong? Should I come clean to my mother & cousin first? Or wait until I start HRT etc?
At the moment, I cannot afford to move out, I am currently paying off a large debt from 2 so called friends, who I went into business with and I stitched up!! 😢😭
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