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Rachel:
Happy to have you with us! I hope that being here will be a good experience for you.
Is there a trans community in your area of the UK? If so, are you connected to it? Given that you transitioned in the past, you would be a great resource for folks in your area as well as on this forum. As you probably know, as people are trying to plot their way forward, often doubts and fears can creep in. Knowing that there are people who have walked through the fire and come out the other side intact sends a powerful message and is a great validation. Anyway, I hope that you will feel free to share your experiences.
I often encourage new members to complete their Profile page. It really helps others understand your situation. Remember that your page will always be readily available and can be updated at any time. Also, if you would like to search for other members in your area, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
Hello Rachel,
Welcome to our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.
You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.
Glad you are here. Looking forward to seeing you on the site.
Terri Anne, Ambassador============ TGH MtF ChatRoom ============================
https://transgenderheaven.com/chat/mtf-transgender-chat/Rachel, I has one issue withΒ a comment you made. You wrote that you “completed my transition”….
Did you mean the physical part?
Otherwise, I don’t think anyone ever “completes” their transition. I’ve gone as farΒ physically as I need to go. But that doesn’t mean my transition is over. I’ll be learning, growing, and changing till the day I die. We’re more than a little smug if we think we’re finished. We stop changing, we stop living!
I hope you meant “physical”.
Anyway, welcome to the fray!
Natalie:
Transition may be complete in terms of what we set out to do.
I consider my transition as essentially complete because I have gone as far as I need to. The only thing left would be changing my name and gender markers, but for various reasons, I am not planning to do that. My transition would defined as social. I have no interest in any medications or surgeries. Personally, I don’t believe that I have ever experienced gender dysphoria. I have never thought that I was born in the wrong body. However, what I did figure out was that I was never completely male. I was never completely female either, for that matter. What finally struck me was that I have always been this amalgam of genders. My gender expression is female as I present as DeeAnn at least 98% of the time and that is how I am known in the area where I live.
I suspect that those outside of the transgender community think at all, or at least most, trans people have medically transitioned. The reality is that only about 30% of trans people actually have any sort of confirmation surgeries.
Everyone defines what they need to do in order for their lives to make sense to them. A term that is often used is Congruence, or having our mental self align with our physical self. For each of us, transition takes the course that is specific to us and what we must do. It is not our place to attempt to define transition for someone else.
Thanks. I am not here to judge, that’s above my pay grade. But I do want to point out that transition (IMHO) is a lifelong process. I’d bet that Rachel meant that she has gone as far as she’d like to for now. She probably finished the “physical/body image” part of transition, FOR HER. I understand that there are Standards of Care for ‘gender dysphoria’. We all need different things, all of us being different people.
I will never be finished with my transition. Being retired (After working for over 10 years as a female) gives me time and pause to examine myself.
I flirted with the idea, but never intended to have SRS. I have no tolerance for physical pain. I’ve done facial electrolysis and go in for touch ups and other parts of my body now. It hurts so much that I could not have finished my face without the kindness of a dentist who would allow his assistant to numb my muzzle with shots of lidocaine in my mouth first.
I didn’t use hormones for very long, because I became impatient with the expense and the results. I won’t use them again, the side effect risks are too much for ME. I’m a retired nurse, and have seen all sorts of unhealthy stuff, some of it done by trans women.
I’m incensed at the persecution of LGBTQ people, especially drag queens. I respect and enjoy watching the shows, when I can. I even had a crush on a drag queen once.
Some transwomen tell me that drag is trashy and gives people a bad image. I disagree. When done by pros, nothing could be further from the truth. I’d trust a queen before I’d trust a politician. Upon retrospection, I feel lately that I could be doing my own ‘drag’ by presenting as female, and playing in an all girl band. Like you, I’m not a guy.
But I like guys. Strangely, I only have one close male friend. I haven’t dated a guy since I married my current wife. She is #4, and is the only one that ever approved, even embraced my queerness and femininity, during the marriage.
By “coming out” here, I hope that I have dispelled any illusions that I am being judgemental. And I hope that Rachel knows I’m not digging at her. I want to be accepting of you, her, and every person here. I’m not a bitch with people I don’t know.
Thank you.
Natalie Gay
From what Iβve seen over the last 10 years or so is that MANY think the concept of being transgender is pretty simple. To me, this covers those outside of the community and many inside of the community. However, the reality is that there are many nuances and subtleties that a lot of folks donβt know about.
Coming out is one of those subtleties. We canβt just blurt out what we believe our sexuality or gender identity to be. Often all that does is lead to an argument. What is needed is conscious thought about how to present our story and how to explain our reactions to situations that have particular meaning for us, positively and negatively. For me, it relates to story telling in that we are providing bits of information along the way as we explain a situation. At the end, it all comes together such that the story, hopefully, makes sense. The reason that a fair degree of thought should go into this is that how can this make sense for someone else if it doesnβt make sense to us?
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