Hello. My name is Phoenix (not legally yet).

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #91250
    Phoenix Cayman
    Participant

    Hi everybody. I like to be called Phoenix but it’s not my birth name. I am physically a woman who feels and knows is a man. I don’t want to offend anyone here when I say this but I do not like calling myself a transman because I dislike labels. I want to simply be a man. I’m looking for support and I am willing to offer support back too. I have lived as male as long as I could for about a year around 2016 but I gave up a year later because of lack of support from family and because even though it’s natural for me to be male it felt awkward because I felt like others weren’t accepting of it. Until today. I don’t know how I should dress or behave anymore now. I just don’t know what to do. Any advice would be welcome. Thanks.

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    Replies
    • #91278

      Hi Phoenix , glad you are here guy , you’ll find nothing but the greatest support here . I ‘m male to female and we all suffer the same doubts miss understandings . We understand and are ready to give a shoulder to lean on . Speak and you shall be herd . Leslie

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #91279

        Hi Phoenix , glad you are here guy , you’ll find nothing but the greatest support here . I ‘m male to female and we all suffer the same doubts miss understandings . We understand and are ready to give a shoulder to lean on . Speak and you shall be herd . Leslie

        What’s up Leslie? It’s so comforting to know I am not by myself in this world. I mean, I wouldn’t wish gender dysphoria on my worst enemy but at the same time, I’m glad I am not all by myself in this. I really do want to transition but I am kinda afraid of what family will think if I ever did hrt. I was mighty close but called it quits when a brother of mine introduced me to the Hebrew Israelite religion. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not against religion or religious people. But after this really painful event happened to me this week, I realized it isn’t for me. I need to be free and enjoy life and I won’t until I transition. I just know I won’t. Have you transitioned Leslie? I know you said you’re male to female but have you done hrt or any surgeries? I know there are lots of us trans people who are perfectly ok with not doing those things. But now I want to again and I won’t wanna let anything ever stop me again. I mean it this time.

         

        Phoenix

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #91641

          Hi Phoenix , no i have not done HRT of SRS either , like you i would like to , especially after this virus thing is done . We will see and i wish you the best on your journey . Leslie

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #91251

      Hi Phoenix. I go by Louise nice to meet you. I am not going through the same problems as you but am confused with how I am feeling and how I am supposed to deal with it. No one knows how I feel. Anyway. A chat would be wonderful. X

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #91256

        Hey Louise. Thanks for your reply. Yeah I’m confused too as far as whether or not I should pursue getting HRT or not. Or whether or not I should get surgery too. Feel free to talk with me about your feelings. I feel like no one gets me either. That’s why I came here. I am a very good listener. I’ll be chatting with you too for sure.

        • #91267
          DeeAnn Hopings
          AMBASSADOR

          Well, you found us! Glad you did and hopefully you can find the support and resources here that you are looking for…

          1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #91268

            Thank you so much DeeAnn. I only been here for about a day and already am finding a lot of support here. This is the most supportive trans site I ever been to. I am very impressed and pleased.

            Phoenix

          • #91269
            DeeAnn Hopings
            AMBASSADOR

            There are a number here who have similar stories. An important thing is to let people know that they are not alone. They are not the first and they won’t be the last. Beyond that, you get into the psychological and the mechanical parts of what all this means. I encourage you to proceed thoughtfully and think of this as a journey and not a race…

            1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #91270

            Thank you for that thoughtful reply, DeeAnn. I am so grateful places like this exist. If it weren’t for this website and other trans sites I really would have given up long ago. It’s still a struggle but at least I have you all to lean on. I want others here to know I too go through these things. I am very honored to be a part of this community. My hope is that someday I will feel that without any shame and be more than just honored but even proud of it.

            Phoenix

          • #91283
            DeeAnn Hopings
            AMBASSADOR

            Typically the human mind does not do well with change. All kinds of things come into our minds to lead us away from thinking about some issues that we need to think about; issues that have the potential for significant change in our lives. That’s why I said “journey”. There will be things that will need consideration and often it can take a while for the full meaning to sink in. It is just how the process goes…

            1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #91309

            I’d like to start making changes. But it’s just like you’re saying about the human mind not allowing it very easily. So true. I think it has to do with us as humans having the subconscious desire to belong and conform. I want to feel a sense of belonging. It’s scary but I think I really would rather do nonconformity than conformity for the sake of my well being. I just have to take things slow. This is a “journey,” not a “race” just like you said before.

            Phoenix

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