Hi I am Althea

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  • #100344
    Althea Selontre
    Participant

    I came out of the closet to myself about a year ago. I have done nothing to transition. I desperately want to start hrt. I think about it all day long.

    My wife of 11 years has made it clear she will divorce me if a transition or even discuss my identity, and when I first came out it was clear she was going to succeed in taking my kids away from me in court because I live in a rural community. I love her dearly, and empathize with her plight that she feels I would be dead if I transitioned. I also have intense resentment that I have to choose between her and my own life long dream of being a woman. I am absolutely confused and really just need someone who may know what these shoes look like to hear my story.

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    • #100361

      Hello , don’t forget that you both were socially conditioned to what normal is/was supposed to be by dating getting married and having that white picket fence in front of the house and making babies – your wife is in shock of loosing her soul mate but no matter how scarred she is for her future never get angry at her because she may not have your back or understanding and feels betrayed by you – be strong for her no matter what and still give her unconditional love and go be yourself as a two spirited person – XO – Krystal

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    • #100356
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Althea:

      It seems to me that you are in the midst of a difficult situation. Damned if you do; damned if you don’t.

      You mentioned graduate work in psychology. Are you practicing? Also, are you working with a therapist? As I am sure that you know, when you are dealing with the intersection of various issues, if is difficult to unravel and prioritize then.

      By the way, thanks for doing your Profile page. It is really helps others understand how things are going for you. Remember that you can update the page at any time if something changes.

      And note:

      There is no Place,
      Like this Place,
      Anywhere close to this Place,
      So this must be the Place!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #100349

      I am in the same boat sweetie.
      <p class=”p1″><span class=”s1″>My name is Annie and I am a 64 year old transgender woman from Ohio I live on the Ohio WV panhandle and when I am out I typically head to Pittsburgh and the Gallariea. In fact my first time out ever as Annie was at the South Hills Macy’s for a makeover. It was the begin of something beautiful and my realization that I am indeed trans. I have recently been outed by my wife to daughters and friends. The relationship is tenuous but we are still together. However now that the cat is somewhat out of the bad I feel the need to be me, the need to be Annie. </span></p>
      <p class=”p1″><span class=”s1″>I have been a member of cross dresser heaven for over two years. It was the friendship of these wonderful ladies that emboldened me to come out and be my authentic self. However, I have come to realize that i am transgendered more so than a cross dresser. We’re I younger in today’s society I have no doubt I would transition. At 64 it’s too late but I have to admit I have thought about hrt to soften features etc to make it a bit easier to live my authentic self. Holding me back is my wife whom I don’t want to hurt any more than this has and my children. I do feel however that I must be me and my time spent as Annie is the happiest of my life. </span></p>
      <p class=”p1″><span class=”s1″>Ive known that I should have been a girl since I was about 5. Now soon to be 65. Crossdresses off and on for much of my life but the last two-three years have been eye opening. I went out in public dresses the first time August 1 two years ago and loved it. Can to the realization that I was trans. My wife found some pics that went to her phone from the cloud and my secret was out. A blessing in disguise really. She outed me to my daughters and some friends. I still can be Annie to any of them. They have all seen pics but my wife and daughters while wanting me to be happy, want nothing to do with Annie. So the only thing that changed is knowledge. And the fact that since wife knows I can put my clothing, which I have acummulated a lot of as I am a cloths horse., in the closet in the spare bedroom rather than hiding it in the trunks of two of my cars. I have many pics here in the public and private albums Feel free to check them out. Would love to hear more about you sweetie. </span></p>
      <p class=”p1″><span class=”s1″>Huggs And </span><span class=”s2″>😘😘😘</span></p>
      <p class=”p1″><span class=”s1″>Annie</span></p>

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    • #100347

      I came out of the closet to myself about a year ago. I have done nothing to transition. I desperately want to start hrt. I think about it all day long.

      My wife of 11 years has made it clear she will divorce me if a transition or even discuss my identity, and when I first came out it was clear she was going to succeed in taking my kids away from me in court because I live in a rural community. I love her dearly, and empathize with her plight that she feels I would be dead if I transitioned. I also have intense resentment that I have to choose between her and my own life long dream of being a woman. I am absolutely confused and really just need someone who may know what these shoes look like to hear my story.

      You and I share soo much my wife of 38 years told me that 14 years ago! My heart ❤️ goes out to you!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #100345

      Hi. I’m an out later. And I sympathize with what you are going through. To be honest I have a huge resentment to being trans and having my whole life a hell scape of addiction and self harm. 
      when I started to transition I had a list of who would go with me. One was a close friend of 38 years. I tried with him but he turned into an asshole thinking he could influence my transition. I dumped him for self preservation. 
      Since my life has been so difficult I had no choice but to leave others behind. Some of the most difficult things to do is to part from a vital person in our live. But for once I’m the only one who matters now. Tough to realize but for me it had to be. — Annie

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