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Hi everyone! I’m a transgender woman, and I just wanted to chat with some other fellow people who are going through the same thing as me. I just wanted to know, How did y’all know you were transgender? I feel really wrong, like I HATE myself. Ever since I was little, I’ve been wanting to do girl things like doing makeup, wearing a dress, etc. I’ve wanted to tell my parents but I’m very shy. Even now when I finally opened up to my friends, they supported me and I felt so opened to them now, I felt just so happy to finally speak it out that I wanna be a girl. I did just tell my parents, my mom supports it 100% but my dad is like eh…he thinks I’m going crazy or something and deep inside me I’m not. I’ve always felt like this, wanting to be a girl. I look at all the other girls and I get so annoyed and upset wishing I was them or like them. Sorry if this is weird….but it’s true. I just wanted to finally let this all out. I feel like crap everyday because of this, I hate who I am now and I know it’s bad hating yourself but I hate my form…I just wish I could’ve been born a girl. Thank you if you’ve read this far 😊
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Hello Yami
Welcome! You have found a warm, supportive and friendly place where you can simply be you.
I knew from 1977 that I didn’t “fit” in my male body, that somehow I wasn’t happy being male. I couldn’t put my finger on it back then, I only knew I wanted to wear girls’ clothing and I did, in secret, whenever I could. Both parents rigorously suppressed my feminine desires, to the point where I was getting hurt and visits to hospital became necessary. I was never interested in chasing girls, I wanted to BE one but I didn’t dare tell anyone; I was too afraid of the repurcusions for that.
Eventually, aged 21 (1993), I bought my first lingerie set and black tights. I loved it.
Fast forward to 2017 and after my umpteenth nervous breakdown, I decided I couldn’t go on living a lie. I was going to live the rest of my life as my authentic self: Melanie, Woman. It will soon be my 4th Trannyversary. I feel like an actor who’s been playing a role in a long-running show. A male role that I didn’t audition for, never wanted but which had been forced on me by society and my parents. Well, that role has come to an end and I am trying to unlearn my lines, unlearn the bitter lessons I had been taught. But as a type-cast actor knows, my “stage name” = dead defunct male name, is still being used. My mum refuses to accept my new female persona, even though it’s the one that is the Real Me. We haven’t spoken since last October but I’m ok with that. I realised I don’t need her approval to exist; she has no control over me now, no say in how I live my life. It feels wonderful, getting dressed how I want to, deciding what lingerie, skirt and blouse or dress to wear.
I am pre-op, pre hormones and yes, it is a very long and hard road to travel but it’s upwards; out of the cold and darkness into the sunlight and warmth of womanhood. Remember, you don’t have to walk that path alone, not now you have found loving sisters here.
You have taken your first steps towards the authentic you; you have already made the biggest and hardest steps. It won’t be plain sailing, we all have set-backs along our route but we are here for you, every step of the way. You are amazing, please don’t forget that.
Love and hugs from Melanie xx
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