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Hello Gabrielle, Welcome to TGH.
I’m a trans woman who has not long “come out” to my family and mum doesn’t approve so I do understand lonliness.
Where do you live? I am lucky in that most of my friends have accepted me and I have a support group of mostly women who are fantastic; I really feel like one of the girls.
I grew up feeling so alone, isolated and confused; knew I didn’t fit in as male and was abused for “being gay” at the time when Aids was first in the news.
You will find everyone here is understanding, supportive and here for you so there’s no need to feel alone anymore. All you have to do is reach out as you have done.
Hugs from Melanie xx
I’m from Southwest Missouri, which is very right wing conservative. My Dad and Stepmom are both hardcore Christians, son a I know they would have a hard time dealing with it. So far, I’ve come out to two people, my sister and my fiancé.
Growing up raised into Christian values, I always tried to hide my feelings and repress them, but no matter what I did, they always crept back up. When i was younger, I didn’t even know anything about transgender, but I had can remember that I always wanted to be pretty rather than handsome, often borrowed my sisters clothes to wear, which made me feel… comfortable.
Then, once I hit puberty, I would have these fantasies that I would find someone to have sex with the first time, and we would do it, but the next day, we had switched sexes, and I had become a female. I have also had recurring dreams where I am a me, but as a women. I used to ask myself what was wrong with me, and I still struggle with with trying to repress my feelings. I’m agnostic now, but some of those Christian teachings are so engrained, I sometimes feel ashamed when I dress up and try to look like a girl.
My fiancé is very supportive of me, and is caring, but we have talked about it and she admitted that even though she wants me to go through with it, and that she fully supports me, she doesn’t know if she could be with me once I fully transition because she is straight. So I’m torn right now because I do want to transition. I want to be accepted as a girl, be myself out in society, but I’m afraid to because I will lose my fiancé, and I really do love her. I’m also afraid of not being accepted, especially by my friends and family. Other than my fiancé, I don’t really have anyone who is supportive. My sister seemed kind of weirded out when I told her. And I know there can be complications during surgery and that maybe I won’t be happy if I can’t be passable. I know I shouldn’t worry about what other people think, but I do. I want to be thought of as a girl when someone meets me.
And the last thing I worry about is that I’m definitely more attracted to women then men, and I worry that no women would be attracted to someone like me and how hard it would be to find someone around where I live.
Sorry, I know this is a lot. Thank you for reading. I’m just trying to work through my emotions.
Hi, Gabrielle. Welcome. You are among friends here.
Hello Gabrielle.
I know how that feels girl. I told my parents when i was 5 years old i was a girl, only for them to tell me; Its a phase im going through and i would grow out of it.
Well i never did. I spent years trying to be what they and the rest of society wanted me to be. All the time being miserable. Hell i did not even know how to be a boy. How was i going to do this. So i ended up mocking the boys in the neighborhood, doing what they did, saying the things they said, i just did my best to try and blend in to where i did not belong.
i did that for years, 53 years to be exact. When i made the mistake of telling them i was transitioning to my true self and my true sex,. FEMALE. They disowned me, even my brother and sister did.
At that time i just wanted it to be over, either the surgeries to be a true woman in body and spirit, of for my life to be over.
Well as you can see i am still here. even thought most of the surgeries have yet to be done. i am still working towards them.
Hang in their girlfriend, and when you need to talk, hit me up here or on TWITTER.
Marcy Ella Nelson.
Huggs girl.
Marcy.
Hi,
I’m very new and have, in my true gender, just been born; despite being 56!
So far I have received nothing but support from my partner, GP and workplace; but I understand that this is not the norm. My parents are now both dead, but when I told my mother as a child there was tears guilt, punishment and general feeling that I should be totally ashamed. Not anymore!
I live in the North of the UK, and would love people to talk to and possibly guide me a little. I am still learning and will probably make loads of mistakes, but hey ho, that’s life!
If there is anyone out there who needs a broad shoulder to cry on or can help me; I’m here.
Alice
I get the isolation and the need to hear from people that understand your experiences. I too am quite isolated as I’m going through the end of a 25 year marriage and starting over financially. I have the advantage of living in place where there is a lot of acceptance of all types of people but if you don’t that will certainly induce a lot more friction. Reach out to local resources find some community. You are not alone. I applaud your courage. It takes a lot of that to face the difficulties of living an authentic life but for me it’s been worth it. i hope you too will find that to be the case. Hang in there and reach out if you like. yours Kim
Hi Gabrielle!
I’m from Rogers AR, just an hour away. Let me start by saying that if you need someone to talk to (online, text, in person, whatever), just let me know. As a weird side effect of one of my hobbies, I have several transgender friends in the area, despite Benton County being super conservative. There’s a decent support network even if the community as a whole isn’t great.
One of those friends in particular is a female who is a lesbian – I know she’s dated several women (trans and cis) so while it may be tougher, it isn’t impossible, even in this area. I am omnisexual myself, but I lean more heavily to women.
I grew up SBC in south Arkansas, so I can relate to the religious aspect, and I can assure you my family will not be supportive.
I don’t know how to “fix” the impact on your relationship with your fiancé (no one can), but remember that this is a long process, and she knows YOU. She may grow and learn and change with you on the journey, so don’t just assume all roads end in woe. It sounds like she’s supportive, so just take it slow and don’t make hasty assumptions.
Anyway, I hope you can see that even in our conservative area, we can still find others who will support us and have more in common than just our gender.
❤❤❤ Ellie
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