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… with my General Practitioner (GP). His nurse brought me in to take my blood pressure, etc. and we started talking about my breast augmentation. She is just the best. And then the doctor came in, said “hello Michelle”. He said later that he paused at the door to make sure he had my name and pronouns right. I told him not to worry. I fully expect folks to slip every now and then. It happens when you have known someone one way, and then it changes.
When I was done and checking out, the office manager came up to me and started apologizing because she needed to tell me that they still need to bill things with my old name. “Not to worry”, I said, “I understand”. Then I explained to her how the whole name/gender marker process works, and she understood.
I also told her about listing them on our Local Places and she was so appreciative. And I told her about Transgender Heaven and she just loved that. Apparently a girlfriend of her’s who is transgender is going to have her breast augmentation in the spring and she is going to tell her about TGH.
And all this had me thinking about how often we may become our own worst enemies when it come to being out in the real world. A positive outlook goes a very long way in gaining social acceptance of who you are. So, embrace the positive in yourself, and venture out there. Michelle
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Michelle, you are just a fantastic lady. Your adventure sets a healthy example for us all.
Your last paragraph says it all. Your positive mindset, empathy for others and willingness to accept the world as it is, as well as yourself, absolutely shines. Many people will be unsure how to relate to us as we make our progress. People will tangle pronouns; will fell awkward with us; Won’t know how to relate to us. We can either be offended, or accept them with compassion.
All too often we get lost in our own right while transitioning, so it only makes sense that others will too. When we meet them as they are, and work with their discomfort, we then become powerful examples of who we are and what we want in the world…to be accepted as is.
Keep on keeping on, my friend.
Carly
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Hi Michelle, thanks for sharing! It sounds like your medical team is as affirming as mine have been. I feel like if people knew us well as our old selves, it would be unkind to be confrontational. Of course, if I know someone is intentionally referring to my birth name or pronuons once I’m FT, I’ll simply call them by a random name until they get the hint, or just ignore them until they respect me. No need to get all upset or cause well-meaning people to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Good on you, GF!
Brie
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Thanks Michelle
I’m so glad it went so well for you. I have also noticed that I can be my worst enemy when going out. And that when I keep a open mind and look for the opportunities that they can and do present themselves. And then it’s up to us how we choose to act. If I extend kindness and consideration, it seems to be given back. And it has opened doors and people for me. I hope and pray that it also helps to make it better for the next person in our shoes or not.
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Michelle.
This was a lovely post and it sounds like you had a very positive experience. Thank you for telling us.
Love,
Jane
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