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Where to start?
I live as a male. I’m married with children and come from a large family with many, many friends of various stripes. And more often than not, I think I would be happier if I wasn’t a man any more.
But I love my wife. I love my family. I love my friends. By all accounts, I SHOULD love my life. But I’ve always had a feminine side. At times, it feels like it should take over and I should be ‘Vicki’ forever. And if all those other aspects of my life weren’t there, the decision to do so would almost be a no-brainer. But, they ARE there. There are people who don’t see me as Vicki, but as that other (male) person. And they like him. And they respect him. In some cases, they revere him. To remove him from the scene, I fear, would be to hurt them. And I love them too much to hurt them.
I’m somewhat at a loss. Like others here, I came over from CDH. I’m in the closet. I hide it, but I need it. I’m torn between wanting to be ‘true to myself’ and that other life. That other life is good and I enjoy it. I feel that I SHOULD be completely satisfied with it… because I can’t find any fault with it at all, save one. I’m not Vicki when I live that life.
OK… so that may be a little too deep and philosophical for an introduction, but there it is! I think I just came here to find others to talk to that may understand what I feel.
I hope all is well with everyone that reads this. I look forward to getting to know many of you.
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