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So, here’s the thing. I’ve talked to my therapist and other people for a while, and I’ve been told to ask some trans girls their opinions on my situation. Basically, for the past like 7 years, I’ve had feelings of wanting to be a girl in many aspects: physically, the clothes and makeup, pronouns, the social aspect, etc. One big thing is that I am happy how I am right now, which is unusual in this situation. Usually people feel uncomfortable in their skin before HRT, but I generally feel fine. I just feel like I’d feel and like it BETTER being a girl. My big question is how did you all know that you should start HRT, and what should I think about before deciding whether to do it or not? My big thing is I hate making people uncomfortable, so I wouldn’t go out at school or home wearing girl clothes or makeup, cause making them uncomfortable would make me very uncomfortable. But, I do love crossdressing. The thing that makes me feel like I’m trans is that I feel like I’d want to actually BE a girl. Anyways, if you have any feedback or suggestions, it’d be great! Thanks!
Hello Breanna, the question of if you are Transsexual or just a cross dresser is a very personal one and most likely the only person who can answer that is you. However there is nothing saying all or nothing. Lots of people who even live as a trans gurl are nonop or keep their part, etc. Also HRT is a big decision and will have side effects that can not be reversed easily.
There was a little test in Helen Boyd’s 1st book. Basically how often do think about being the opposite gender, and how intense are those thoughts. If both are high that is a good indication, if one is high and other not, harder to tell, if both are low, most likely not.
As for me and I guess most of the rest of us none of us like to make people uncomfortable, but it becomes a point where our own happiness out ways the other stuff.
I wish I could give you the definitive yes you are this or that. Lots of us would like to not question stuff. Maybe with more background on your situation, etc.
Miriya
Hi! Yes, I can give more insight on some things. First off, with the dressing in public situation, I would with any other situation be like, yeah I need to do what makes me happy. But, in this situation, I would be unhappy making others uncomfortable.
With the thought about being a girl, they’re pretty frequent I’d say. Like daily, about 4-5 times on average maybe to put a number to it haha. Like if I see one of my friends jeans that are really bringing out her butt and hips, I’m attracted to it, but I also want to have it. So it’s like that, but all day with things like that.
I also am in a weird dilemma that I just don’t feel the best wearing women’s clothes and makeup, but not because I don’t want to do it. I just would definitely feel better about myself and enjoy it more if I had the body to fit it.
Thanks!
Breanna, the uncomfortable thing is natural for anybody, think how many Cis woman do not feel they can wear this or that, or ask the question “Does my butt look big?”. 😉 (I damn wish I had that problem) So I think that issue is not a trans one but a self confidence one.
4-5 times per day is on the higher side, how intense? Like you rather be dead or be a girl? In fact you found a way to get the surgery done right now and can not wait the year the docs said to try first. (That is high). Or like “oh well that would be cool, whatever.” Most likely low.
And I agree with Stephanie, sounds like you might need some more self exploration in a friendly place like a gay/trans bar. I hate to say one of those support groups as they can be lopsided but you might find a face to face friend at one that you can heart to heart with.
Miriya
I’m new to this site. I’m 67 married and have been cross dressing privately for several years. I’m not interested in the op because I believe that men and women experience lovemaking in much the same way. I do love looking pretty and woman have such great clothes. I’ve got heels, skirts, lingerie, wigs. I think gender identity is such a personal issue. Good luck. This looks like a very supportive community.
Hi Breanna,
Thinking about gender stuff can be confusing. I’d love to help out with what I know about it. I looked up the stats while thinking about it myself, years back, and I found only 4% of trans people do surgical interventions. Most trans people transition socially. Usually, this is due to being low on funds or not having insurance, but I’m sure there are infinitely more reasons.
Some things to think about are your presentation goals combined with your other life goals. The medical route has effects to it and some of them are considered permanent. How could HRT help you? Could it hurt you? Best to read up and ask your general practitioner since everybody has different pre-existing conditions. I decided to medically transition with the strong hopes I could feel more like myself. I was hoping to pass as a cis woman. It happens for some, but I don’t think it’s going to happen for me. Still, I am a woman and live that way all the time. From what I’ve read the medical interventions are to help the trans, gender non-conforming or non-binary person feel better about themselves. My orchiectomy did some of that for me but came with things I didn’t like, too. When I cough or sneeze it tends to make that area a little sore inside. So when you’re contemplating surgeries, you’ll want to ask yourself if you’re willing to accept…other possibilities.
The thing about you not wanting to make other people uncomfortable by being yourself sounds more like a self-confidence issue. Going on HRT is second puberty. When I used to think about what people would say when I didn’t pass yet I would think about young cis girls. Did all of them look feminine right away? No. So that helped give me some wiggle room in my mind. Trans people, whether we pass as cisgender people or not, are attractive in our own rights. We’re rare but I tend to think of that as adding value. There are lots of people to hang out with. If people are uncomfortable with you perhaps it’s time to reconsider knowing them.
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