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*just breath… just breath….just breath…
Okay.. after 46 plus years I am letting myself become complete.
Like many I started feeling not complete at an early age around 4 or 5. I liked the typical boys stuff toy trucks, building blocks and such, but I also liked dolls and playing house. I just enjoyed what ever my friends wanted to do. I enjoyed my cousins dolls so much my mother even considered getting me one but decided not to because ” he is a boy” anyway no doll…😒
Fast forward to puberty… yeah this will be fun…not!
I was and am attracted to girls but that is a different subject.
I was so jealous of the cute cloths and long hair. But so glad not to be caught up in all the drama. So finally I tried on some of my mom’s clothes, OH MY WORD! I loved it, never wanted to put on boys clothes again. But my reality set in and situations what they were I had to leave Allyson in the closet. Only to visit on occasion in hiding. Like that boy or girl your parents did not approve of you dating.
Never dated through high school. I did not go on my first date as a guy or girl till my mid 20s. Then finaly. Meet this nice lady and 15 years later we’re still married with one daughter. Now over the past 2-3 years her health has become so bad. She now requires a lot of care which has been a tremendous weight. I guess with such a heavy burden I have not been able to suppress Alyson any longer. Shouldn’t have in the first place but… did what I had to.
Doing what I have to… I am starting… Allyson has to be free. Note I am not bothered by my male side it is a part of me but so is Allyson.
My first prescription of HRT will be here tomorrow.
It’s not with out a significant amount of fear. Running in to burning buildins or crawling in to mangled cars or trying to save a life that seams bent on dying has nothing on exposing your COMPLETE self to the world. But here I go.
Thank you for reading my rant. God Bless. Stay safe my new friends… HUGE HUGS!
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