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  • #101450


    My partner recently told she’s trans (MTF). I’m the only one she’s told so it’s been difficult referring to her as she when we’re alone but as he when we’re with our friends.

    I’m honestly really struggling but I don’t want to add any additional stress to her plate so I thought I might reach out to you all to hear your stories – if you desire to share them.

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    • #101536
      DeeAnn Hopings



      From observation and from what I’ve read, the situation you describe is often very difficult. There are a lot of uncertainties to work through that take time. Many factors need to be considered, but I think the fact that you are here is a very significant step. I hope that you can find what you are looking for here.

      In the interim, this book may be helpful:

      Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Trans
      (But Were Afraid To Ask)
      by Brynn Tannehill
      published in 2019 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

      I covers MANY different facets, including gender issues, political attacks by conservatives, medical and mental health, religion, scientific information and other topics. It is an extraordinarily well researched book, which is reinforced by the fact that the EndNotes cover 61 pages! Anyway, lots of great information that may prove to be useful.

      I encourage you to complete your Profile page. It allows other members to understand your situation better and how things are going. Eventually all threads fall to the bottom of the pile, but your Profile page will always be accessible and can be updated at any time.

    • #101525

      Hi Sarah,  as she as only just told yourself about been trans m2f. She will been feeling as if she’s let you down just as I did with my first marriage but in my case the ex wife tried putting in ground rules what and how could be myself. But before we got married she new I am a female trapped in a male body. But as an 18 year fool I tried my best to please everyone trying to hind who I was from our children but as our son turned out to be gay I got the blame because it’s the way you are I was told . So I to was left with very mixed up feelings didn’t no who to trust so in the end after years of putting up with her cheating with others and me just been there for the children and to pay bills my daughter turned to me and said it’s time you got out and live as you should of been. I spoke to my mother and sister and brother about what it’s like living my life and my brother turned around and said well I told you years ago that you girly things that must you should of been one. My mother said well when you was born I was going to name Tracy jayne and your dad always said to us that he would cut it off to make me a girl. As for my sister she asked can we go clubbing as sisters. But at the end of the day I still feel I let my children down and the ex wife and myself are still friends. Now at 56 and still working as male but living as a female with a partner and our 2 kids who is supporting in most ways but doesn’t want me to have bottom end surgery which I want and she knows that. So in all just be supportive and do what feels right for both yourself and her be open with each other.  Hugs Brianna.

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      • #101526

        Thank you for sharing. Your story is beautiful and I wish you all the best for your future.

        I’m just trying to be as supportive as possible while also taking care of myself. I really just want her to feel safe with me.

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