Sexual census. Q:

Sexual census

Data discovery of preference and prevalence.

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  • I am TG and I like other TG girls
  • I am TG and i like straight men.
  • I am TG and I like both.
  • I am TG and I do not mind gay men. ( meaning they want reciprocation)
  • I am TG and I like cis woman.

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    • #103221

      I transitioned many years ago, back in the mid 70’s when there was no “transgender”….you were either a transvestite or a transsexual. All this new terminology leaves me often befuddled and bewildered since I feel so out of touch, but I’m learning, gradually, what it all means.

      From a very young age I always envisioned myself as a wife and mother; I even went so far as to use pillows under my shirt so I could be pregnant just like my mother was at the time. This was obviously quite disturbing to my parents who were very concerned for their boy child who seemed to have no male identification. I spoke of having a husband and giving birth to children, not understanding in my young mind that it was an unlikely dream in that era. I was always attracted to males but only in the sense that females are attracted to the male.  When I got older I still had not become familiar with the term “transsexual” and I was thus labeled  “gay” by a society that couldn’t understand my behavior. I knew that didn’t fit; I had no desire to be with a man while being anatomically male myself. Never in my life have I experienced attraction to females…I adore the masculine that compliments my feminine. In the early gender programs the requirements didn’t allow for  T girls to be attracted to women or to other T girls. The attitude at that time was that if you truly identified as female then you exhibited only those behaviors associated with heterosexual females….the programs didn’t allow for any broader definition of one sexuality or preferences. Indeed, I was initially denied surgery because I had loving yet platonic relationships with other T girls. Our abiding friendships evolved out of our mutual shared experiences of trying to survive in a dark time of misunderstanding and bias that often resulted in violence, physical harm and death. Yet this aspect was not considered and I was dropped from the first gender program and deemed an unsuitable candidate for surgery. Undeterred, I did find another program and eventually received my surgery that aligned my spirit and body.
      <p style=”text-align: left;”>After all these years of living and working as a woman I’ve successfully managed to find my place as a woman within society and while my past is always a part of who I am, it remains where it belongs…..in the past. Relationships, however, are still very difficult as men still struggle with the idea of their woman having been born with a male body. After all these years I still face rejection and broken relationships because “I used to be…” I’ve been asked why I don’t date crossdressers (is that still a politically correct term?) Or other T girls instead and the answer is that I’m attracted to masculine men…always have been and always will be. Now in my late 60’s marriage sounds nice but its not a priority. I have a wonderful life, a beautiful home and a terrific job I love. I believe that for the majority of us our destiny will be the single life but I realized that early on and have come to terms with it. It’s not likely that I’ll know and experience the beauty and joy of making love with a man who cares as much for me as I would care for him but I understand that I’ve been so blessed throughout the various chapters in my life that I don’t feel deprived. I’m grateful and thankful for all of it and who I’ve become as a result and am happy to pass the torch to our next generation who will further pave the way for the men and women yet to come.</p>

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #103209
      Haley Ann
      FREE

      Wow! So many different responses! For me, it’s simple. Haley is a woman, she likes men. Hal is a man, he likes CIS women. It had “coffee” one evening with a CD and it just did not feel right to me. While I find many girls like me attractive, the sexual attraction was just not there.

      Haley😘

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #101548

      I am LOVE-Attracted to straight men.  From an early age I gravitated to boys as a child and men as an adult.  I always thought of myself as a woman inside, and that woman is now 68 years old.  As a child I played with the girls, but sneaked kisses from the boys.  It was amazing at the age of 4, or 5 how many boys are willing to kiss you.  As an adult I learned to take care of my penis’ needs and had sex with many different woman, but mostly for the sex.  Back 1973 I had a boy friend that was gay, and we shared sex.  He enjoyed me as a male, and I enjoyed him only if he treated me and let me be the girl.  It was special, but it was not love.  I was getting to experience the “girlishness” that smoldered internally since birth.

      I have fallen in love only twice in my life, and both times it was with a straight man.  In 1972 during Vietnam I was stationed on a ship overseas.  Me and another shipmate became very tight, we went everywhere together, did everything together, and this went on for 5 or 6 months.  I knew how I felt about him, and I acted with true friendship.  One afternoon we were both walking down a sidewalk in some big overseas city and he turned to me and told me he loved me.  I stopped in my tracks, I turned and stood in front of him, I stepped in and embraced him with great affection and tenderness and whispered in his ear that I loved him to.  He pulled away and said: “No…as a brother.  We never hung out together again.

      I fell in love once again in 1977.  I was in college and met a professional road bicycler.  I went to a very small college with only 300 students in all 4 years (tiny).  His really fancy bike and my pretty good bike were the only one of any value in the bike racks.  Our bikes often found themselves next to each other, and soon I meet him and we became next to each other.  We biked together 3 or 4 times a week, we rested after a good ride, we talked and really enjoyed each other.  He was amazing, and he was actually on the US Olympic biking team.  I felt so good when I was with him.  Months went by and we spent much of our free time together, but it was a strictly honors program college and we were both very serious students.  One night I was in my dorm room and having just taken a shower was wrapped in a towel.  There was a knock on the door, I opened it and there he was:  He informed me he was leaving school, returning to train for the next Olympics, but he had to say goodbye first.  I never saw him again.  I read about him in various magazines and such, but never saw him again.  I never told him I loved him because of the results last time, but I loved him so much.  I was heart broken for a long time.  He was my last true love.  I still regularly think of him and wonder how he is doing.  Almost the same with the first man, but not the same because he did reject me.

      I am married now to an amazing woman.  If she read this she would cry.  I do love her but it is not the emotional melting, gladly submitting, long to kiss kissing type love.  We were best friends for most of our marriage, and now with me almost a year into transition we are no longer even that.  In the early 80’s a secretly a woman-man that wanted a family got married to a woman.  Would she give me a few children was the question I asked her immediately before proposing to her.  She answered YES, but within a few years she declared me a pervert and said she would not give me children.  I was not a pervert, I was a feminine man captured by the social norm that transgender was verboten.

      So, to make a long story short: as soon as I am with vagina I will go out and attempt to meet a man.  I will be 70 or 71 years old by then, so my meeting a man may take that man a pair of beer-goggles.  I am not afraid; the only thing I have wanted more and for longer then a man I truly love is to become a woman.  As a child I wanted to be a girl; too late for that: woman it is!!

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #100910
      Lufia
      FREE

      I cannot speak for the other ladies on this site, but only from my own experiences. I am very attracted to women, and I find the female body (and femininity in general) to be much more attractive than masculinity and the male body in general. That being said, despite my attraction to the female form, my only sexual desire is to be treated as a woman by a partner with a penis. I have no desire to take the traditionally male role in any relationship. I want to be treated as a woman in every way. Though there aren’t many ladies out there fitting this description, I do prefer to date other pre-op trans ladies that are tops, or that prefer to top. To me there is nothing more beautiful than a woman with a penis. Who can understand my motivations and desires better than someone has had many of the same experiences that I have had?

      • #100936

        Sounds very similar to my own sense of my sexuality. I have only ever had the opportunity to play the “male”/”top” role. I can enjoy that role, but don’t want it as a steady diet.

        I am very bottom “curious”, but am totally disinterested in experiencing that with a masculine presentation.

        I guess I’d call myself a femme attracted switch.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #100860

      Hi Linda

      Trans feminine or lipstick lesbian for my preference. I love women, in fact I’m married to one of the most wonderful of her kind. I get hit on by other woman quite a bit now that I’m a woman myself!
      However…
      I find a number of trans women very attractive and, dare I say, sexy as hell. No doubt a strange desire to many (or maybe not reading further) but the fact of the matter is some of youse out there are a damn sight sexier than many ‘real’ women!

      Yes! You know who you are!

      Ohhh… Polly

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #99827

      Being transgender isn’t about who you are attracted to, it’s about who you are. Just like a woman can be attracted to another woman and still be a woman, or a man can be attracted to other men and still be a man, a TG is still TG if they are attracted to other TGs.

      Like you, though, I do find it interesting that a majority of TGs seem to be attracted to other TGs (I’ve found that to be the case in many groups where this issue was discussed, not just here). I’m solely attracted to straight men, so I don’t fall under that group, but I do wonder if there is some reason for that preponderance of TGs preferring other TGs sexually. I’m just curious. I am a cultural anthropologist so these issues interest me.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #99825
      bobbi lewis
      SILVER

      i am attracted to both. i want to be desired and taken by men sexually, but my passion for love making, kissing, cuddling, and such is with older tg’s.

      one thing is for sure we are all different just like everybody else.

    • #93731

      I seem in the minority, So my question is? I consider myself Transgender. I am only attracted to straight men. This seems feasible to my mind, because the definition of Transgendered is feeling like the opposite sex you were born under.

      So if i am a woman inside…It would seem i would be attracted to straight sex like a man and a woman.

      However, it seems to me , most trans people like other trans girls. I am confused by this.

      No explanation needed, I mean I get it. you are attracted to what you are attracted to…But are you transgender if you are attracted to other tgs.

      I didn’t vote because I didn’t see my category. Maybe someone already said this but gender identity has nothing to do with sexual orientation. I consider myself non-binary, and gender fluid. I’ve always had an emotional connection to women, was married to a cis woman and have dated trans women. I’ve been in a long term relationship with a gay man, and am also attracted to straight men.
      I really want to stay away from identifying labels because it always feels like there are these boxes one is supposed to fit into. If there is anyone who understands that paradox it’s us.

    • #93728
      Cheryl T
      FREE

      If we are speaking strictly about sexual attraction then I enjoy both. Some of what attracts me is the personality and I find that I appreciate both other TG’s as well as men. Were we speaking of a relationship, i.e. long term, then at this time I would be seeking a man, but would be open to other options.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #93716
      DAL30 Bethie
      AMBASSADOR

      E. None of the above.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #92697
      Anonymous

      I seem in the minority, So my question is? I consider myself Transgender. I am only attracted to straight men. This seems feasible to my mind, because the definition of Transgendered is feeling like the opposite sex you were born under.

      So if i am a woman inside…It would seem i would be attracted to straight sex like a man and a woman.

      However, it seems to me , most trans people like other trans girls. I am confused by this.

      No explanation needed, I mean I get it. you are attracted to what you are attracted to…But are you transgender if you are attracted to other tgs.

      Hope to be a mans wife in the future, but I may also find women sexy 🥰

      We are what we are and I am a transgender woman wishing she was born a girl 🧍‍♀️

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #92673

      I can’t vote. You left out, “sexual preference is fluid and i have yet to know what I prefer.”

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #92441
      LadySarah
      FREE

      I got hit on by other TG women enough at group therapy sessions that I wont attend any such thing anymore. Sexually, nothing does it for me. If I had the right equipment, things might be different. I prefer the company of a man. I tried woman and didnt like it. Women also get on my nerves quickly. The other thing is that with sex toys, I prefer the ones shaped like a phallus.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #92433

      I voted both male and female, but in all honesty I prefer having a man. Doesn’t mean I would not kiss a transgender girl, but if it’s about having a relationship then it definitely would be a man. Huggs!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #92421

      What happened to all the other choices? Bi? Non Sexual? Cis & TG? Everyone? etc, etc? and I have no clue?  Seems to me the question it self limits the answers. I am BTW a bit of this and a bit of that but mostly this or that, so the answer must be Everyone or Non or I have No Clue if you add a degree of how much where 51% of category means confirmation. However for all the admirers out there the answer is No! I do not like you in that way.

       

      Miriya

    • #91661

      Hi ladies , i’ve never seen Leslie as a sexual conquest for anyone , male or female , cis or trans . I love being Leslie , i dress as her every day and will till i no longer exist . I have a boy friend and he’s very nice to me , but we’re just that , friends . I see myself sometimes being more and hoping , maybe ? I find my self on the bi sexual side and i want love , not just sex , i want a relationship with the right person , male or female , someone i care about , someone i love that loves me and i am going to hold out for that . I guess you could say Leslie is a virgin , she’s never been touched and if need be thats the way it will end . I say if you can find true love , go for it , don’t let it get away . Being a trans woman in life is hard enough by its self , you are just as sweet and wonderful as any woman out there , don’t sell your self cheap . I hope we all have love and understanding , keep the faith ladies , let the lady out and see who notices her . Leslie

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #91650

      <p style=”text-align: left;”>I like cis women and other trans women only.  Straight men are not attractive to me and not my preference.  Though I am versatile I enjoy top and bottom from both cis and trans women</p>

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #92311

        Very much the same for me.

        Masc presentation does nothing for me, I find it unappealing to the point of disgust. I like femme presentation: soft, smooth, tits and “clits”. I’m not overly concerned about crotch hardware, though so far I have not had the delightful opportunity to sample girl****.

        Even before I came out to myself I often thought of myself as a Lesbian trapped in a man’s body.  I wondered if transition/HRT would shift my attraction. 2-1/2 years in, so far no.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #91328
      Sandy Wells
      SILVER

      as to my sexual knowing i was a women it was to men it only felt natural

    • #91203

      As DeeAnn stated, it just IS… sexual orientation and gender identity are two different things.  I am attracted to woman, but I have also found myself fantasizing about men… Whether this is true attraction (i.e. I am pansexual) or just a way to justify myself as a woman, not sure.  It could go either way until the rubber hits the road (i.e. I have sexual relations with a man).

      Good luck! and remember… a loving relationship is never built on gender… it is built on trust. be honest with your partner and be the best person that you can be and enjoy your time together!

      Mikayla

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #91138

      Sexual attraction is simple for me.  I feel that I am straight.  When I am in a dress, I am interested in men.  When I am wearing boxer briefs, I find women attractive.  Is that to simple or wrong?

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #102872
        Lufia
        FREE

        Though I could not force myself to wear boxer briefs, I prefer women when presenting as a man, but I will also top for men and trans ladies. When I am presenting as woman, I only want men, and want to be treated like a woman in every way possible.

      • #91301

        read my above statement… so you bang the girl… felt good…. does it bring the same sunami as being in a dress with a man… it cant be equall. IMO.

        if it is thats pretty great…..sex with woman great… sex with man (emotionaly right) is for me 100X.

         

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #91141
        DeeAnn Hopings
        AMBASSADOR

        It isn’t This or That. It’s just an Is…

    • #91129
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      When I was living as a male I was never attracted to men, only women. When being intimate with a female I always projected myself into a female role, although I only have had one female that would cooperate and treat me as female during sex. After I transitioned I kept an open mind about my sexuality and finally at 8 months into HRT, I confirmed myself as only being interested in women. I chose trans women as the partner I would like to have because I think that it would be very hard for a lesbian female to accept a trans female as a partner. Not impossible, just hard. Rather than be lonely the rest of my life I would choose someone that would be accepting which would be another trans female

      I know lesbian identified trans women who have told me how difficult it is to find other women for relationships. I can think of various reasons, but I can’t say exactly what is going on.

      Historically my orientation has been bisexual, but as time goes on, it is becoming more and more lesbian. But I am married and I’m not looking for anything else. In part, I think the shift may be due to the acceptance that I feel from the lesbian community here. I like that and it was also quite unexpected…

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #91123

      This issue has been a recurring one for me.  I always found it odd that I enjoyed meeting men for sex but never seeing them as “sexual” in public…until I started venturing out in public as Jemma.  Suddenly I was attracted to them and pleased when I got their attention.  Part of that is simply the joy of being recognized as a woman, no matter how transitory that might be.  Part of it is also because I now live almost exclusively as a woman in my head.

      Recently I accepted an invitation to meet a man for sex and misunderstood the role he wished me to fulfill.  For the first time I left an encounter full of self-loathing and confusion.  It took me several days to sort out all the conflicting questions and panic.  I now believe that I will never again be able to be the “man” in any sexual or romantic situation.  I also believe that my attraction and appreciation of both women and men is fairly equal, though clearly being with men as Jemma it is far easier to be the woman I long to fully become.

      Finally, I have realized that I would give up the possibility of ever having sex again to bring my external self in line with the woman buried inside me.  My need to be the woman I am is not based on sex.  In fact, sex was never the goal at all.  Identity is the goal.  Cherry pie is great with ice cream, but still fantastic alone.  It irritates that so many people in my life want to reduce me to a sexual category instead of an identity.  Ideally I see myself as a Pansexual-Transexual, but also see that I may eventually become an Asexual-Woman.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #94839

        Really like what you’ve said Jemma. I was in a relationship with a gay man for about four years before both he and I realized that I just wasn’t versatile in the way that most gay men evolve in their sexual relationships. I always felt I was this submissive woman, and while I loved the sex with this man, the issue ultimately came down to gender. He always wanted to be and was drawn to masculine. He wanted hairy and sweat, and all I wanted was to be hairless and smell like a rose. Ha Ha.

        What transpired was maybe the best thing that ever happened to me. This gay man said to me, “I love you and I want you to be happy. Be who you need to be. I’ll support you a 100%.”

        It was the first time in my life I didn’t feel like a part of me had to exist in secret.

        What I see clearly today is my gender is it’s own island. It needs to express itself, and while it may help define my orientation, it doesn’t need a sexual relationship to exist. I finally feel secure in who I am. So grateful for this relationship. Taught me everything I need to know.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #91130
        DeeAnn Hopings
        AMBASSADOR

        Jemma:

        I think a lot of what you said has to do with the lack of understanding and confusion in the general public. They THINK they know about us, but they really don’t. The stark proof of this is that often when a trans person comes out, the question is often “Are you gay?”.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #94832

          you are so right.  I cannot get past the “you are gay” point to the real point.  It’s kind of like the gal in high school that was pilloried as a slut just because she slept with more than one guy.  You have one relationship with a man and you are gay.  Period.  Pansexual?  That’s gay right?  Transexual?  Yeah but you’re still gay right?  It is tiring.

          1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #94864
            DeeAnn Hopings
            AMBASSADOR

            Sadly, people cling to what they KNOW and it is very hard to penetrate that. It’s almost like logic and reason has outlived its usefulness…

    • #91075
      Anonymous

      When I was living as a male I was never attracted to men, only women. When being intimate with a female I always projected myself into a female role, although I only have had one female that would cooperate and treat me as female during sex. After I transitioned I kept an open mind about my sexuality and finally at 8 months into HRT, I confirmed myself as only being interested in women. I chose trans women as the partner I would like to have because I think that it would be very hard for a lesbian female to accept a trans female as a partner. Not impossible, just hard. Rather than be lonely the rest of my life I would choose someone that would be accepting which would be another trans female

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #90842
      Anonymous

      I am not sure how i would or should answer this. I have always been a Crossdresser my entire life, I have often wished i was a girl for most of life but that feeling would come an go. The urge/desire to be a woman in the past ten years became stronger and stronger, so at 61 i started HRT (6 months now). That said i always felt i am Bi sexual, as a man i experimanted and enjoyed sexual relations with men but they were not attracted to me? Even when dressed as a woman i was never really attracted to men but yet i enjoyed and wanted the sexual aspect of being with a man. I also loved to be with TGs, i think that was a way for me to think i wasnt really gay and still experiance the sexual aspect of a Man and woman and i believe i was envious of them.. I also enjoy being with women very much, i love my wife and enjoy our sexual aspects as well. I dont think i will ever fully transistion do to family friends and work, although since being on HRT i do feel mentally better and my body is starting to match my desire to be a woman.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #91119

        Also well thought out.. i like the personal aspect that you both use. thats really what im going for here. Not argumentative whos what definitions.. more …. what are your emotions and desires telling you.

        ty for sharing.

    • #90304
      Miss Cloé
      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      This leaves out a number of possibilities. Asexual, Pansexual, Cis and TG women…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #90302
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      The sexuality of trans people is as varied as that of cis people. From what I’ve observed on this forum, and others, is that I haven’t noticed a preponderance of any particular orientation. We are all over the place, it seems.

      There is an interesting thought that I have run across. The suggestion is that trans women are attracted to males as a way of looking for validation as women. I can see how that might be true, but I have no idea as to how prevalent that might be.

      Finally, people have moved away from the term transgenderED. The implication is that something happened that made us be transgender people as opposed to something that is inherent. In parallel, we don’t say lesbianED, for example…

      Also, one can be transgender without the experience of gender dysphoria (the anxiety and discomfort resulting from a mismatch between sexual assignment at birth and perceived gender). This can be true for non-binary and intersex people, for example. Anyway, the concept of being transgender is broader than only being born in the wrong body…

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #90301

      Even tho, I am Kara when I feel like I want to be,Kara ,, I still have my desires to be with a real GG Woman &,,,, I also have some desire some-what? to,,,, want to have the attention while (being)-Kara /dressed up from a man, but,,, only to a certain amount like,,, holding of hands &,,, just a friendship 

    • #90298
      Michelle Larsen
      AMBASSADOR

      Linda, I am in the same boat as you. So what’s a girl to do…. Someday, maybe, I’ll meet the man that can get over his own concerns as to how he sees me…. Until then, it’s just one day at a time. Hugs, Michelle

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #90291
      Hannah
      FREE

      No interest, sexually in anyone of any gender – but I suspect my lifestyle has trained me that way over the years. 

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