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I thought I had this figured out along time ago. Then something happens to change my whole perspective on my sexuality. When I first started to transition I placed an ad declaring hi I am Traci, just started transitioning and looking for friends, especially other transgender people to talk with. I recieved 40 or more replies, mostly all men and everyone of them was about sex. That was not my purpose in the ad at all and I deleted each of them. Then comes Steve, a married man that says hi and he just wants to be friends and share my transition as it progresses, he said lets just get to know each other and share our day to day lives. No mention of sex, no requests for pictures just lets get to know one another. That was 8 months ago, we have kept our friendship since that day, emailing each other once or twice a week over the last 8 months. I tell him about my days and life, the small victories and the setbacks, he always complements my ups and tells me the setbacks are just temporary and I am becoming more Traci, the woman everyday. Its wonderful to hear his support, we have talked about one day we may meet and have a drink, me as Traci Lynn and his dear friend. Of course we have done some flirting as that comes with any friendship but nothing sexual really. Boring I know, but the truth is I have never been attracted to men in that way. In the beginning I assumed he would get bored and the conversations would lessen and ultimately end. But 8 months and still we write each week at least once. No, there is a real friendship between us and now I am confused. I could love a man like this, commit to an actual relationship with someone like him. Oh dont get me wrong, I would never jeopardize my friendship or his marriage. But I had always thought my ideal mate would be a woman or a woman like me. Now all I think of is the possibilities of a man like Steve. Is this normal? I truely hope someone here can give me their thoughts on my confusion.
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