What's the best advice you ever got for transitioning?

This topic contains 12 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  Cloe (CC) Webb 2 weeks, 5 days ago.

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #2314

    Vanessa Law
    Managing Ambassador

    I’m curious, what’s the best advice you ever got for transitioning?

    I’ve received a lot of advice, so much of it good. The most practical I think was to start hair removal early. By the time HRT rolled around that side of the transition was no longer an issue for me, and it made many things a whole lot easier.

    What’s the best piece of advice you received for transitioning?

    6 users thanked author for this post.
  • Author
    Replies
  • #29851
     Tami W 
    Participant

    SILVER

    Never really received a ton of advice but a couple observations from the last 2 years:

    Don’t only start hair removal early, start voice as soon as possible, it will take time, averages between 6 & 12 months to get it passable on the phone.

    Be patient with yourself. This is a journey that will not happen overnight, be patient, be kind to yourself, and embrace self care. Enjoy the journey!!

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #31336
       Cloe (CC) Webb 
      Managing Ambassador

      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      For me, self care is the only one of those that is free and yet has been the hardest to embrace.  Too many years of self reliance and denial of self has left me with an automated cocooning.  I liken it to an oyster layering on more lacquer to the pearl irritant.  The emotional baggage has been immense and not something to be released all at once.

  • #27381
     Skyler Anne 
    Participant

    FREE

    “Just do it.” – Nike

    But seriously. Best advice I have gotten is including my fiancé throughout the entire process. Keep open lines of communication with her and let her ask questions. Answer them honestly. Don’t hide anything. And couples therapy before taking steps like HRT. These are the things that keep our relationship alive and well despite the major changes to come

    3 users thanked author for this post.
  • #17335
     Anonymous

    Listening,listening,and learning. I consider myself a very lucky girl,I’ve only hit a couple potholes so far. Yes i started electrolysis asap ,I listened.I told my therapist i was soo looking foward to my future. He said one day at a time. This is the happiest time of your life enjoy it. Im attending voice classes for the transgendered community.  I’m really listening.  Talking to the other girls listening and learning. Im embracing my journey ive waited so long for this,so thankfull.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #17893
       Cloe (CC) Webb 
      Managing Ambassador

      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      Shelley, I called it gaining perspectives.  I wanted to know as much about other peoples thoughts and trials and successes as well as disappointments. All in all I’ve found much joy in the stories even when going through a dark valley.  Most of all I’ve found friendship and connectedness that have been sources of strength in what can feel like a lonely path.

      Hugs, Ambassador Cloe!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #9903
     Dame Veronica Graunwolf 
    Participant

    Hello everyone…..what I have to say comes straight from my life and observations from being around the world.  The whole point of living is to enjoy oneself. Most humans want to be happy and our 100 year life span is spent doing this. However…we loose track of happiness because we get side-tracked accumulating a lot of things we think we want and that will make us happy…..sure you will be a small while. But…protecting these things and accumulation of stuff….costs us dearly…now we must work a job to make money to buy more things that is gradually killing our souls and happiness. As I approach the end of my life, I look back at all the things I was involved with and accumulated and ask myself….did this make a difference….did this help humanity in the areas where it mattered? No…..it “don’t mean nothing”.  Be the best you can be to create happiness and contentment……that means something. Spread joy upon yourself and others. You wish to be a girl? Go ahead and go for it.  Study those around you….talk to those who have gone before you and seek their advice talk with the girls of CDH and TGH…..a wealth of good advice and how to. This is what I have done and I am now content and happy. It is my goal now to help others obtain happiness and enlightenment. The Master said….”to be truly free….bind yourself to nothing” We want to leave a legacy of happiness for when we are gone to the next life…..our fussing and thrashing of this one will matter not in history. Leave the legacy of happiness with the next generation to enjoy.

    Dame Veronica

    Dame Veronica Graunwolf

    8 users thanked author for this post.
  • #9887
     Danielle Fox 
    Participant

    SILVER

    So far the best piece of advice I have gotten came from Dame Veronica. Be calm, be honest, seek a good counselor and just be truthful to your spouse. With these tools I will be able to figure out who I am and which gender I should be. While I am leaning strongly towards the conclusion that I am female in heart, mind, and soul I cannot reject the possibility that the body could be correct. With counseling I am going to find out the answer to my dreams and I hope to escape the nightmare. Hugs 🤗 and love ❤️ 💋👠

    Danielle

    5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #25899
       Patrice Blair 
      Participant

      SILVER

      I see this is an older post but thank you for your post Danielle fox. That is sound advice. I feel so much clarity when I am my ow woman but there arw currently still two sides to the coin.

  • #6189
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador

    MANAGING AMBASSADOR

    Several people told me to go get a counselor.  Self reliance is how I was raised and not seeking help when you can figure it out yourself was the mantra.  While it doe lend toward self assurance and confidence it blinds you to fully appreciating all the wonderful possibilities out there.  It also lends toward placing up your own barriers of protectionism to keep yourself away from truths that are scary,  The counselor helped me tear those barriers away to reveal the truth within my heart.

    4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #7091
       Vanessa Law 
      Managing Ambassador

      SILVER

      Wonderful advice! Though I figured most of it out on my own and the therapist was more a formality required by WPATH than someone who helped me figure it out. The confirmation itself was valuable, gave me a lot more confidence.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
  • #6169
     Jasmine 
    Managing Ambassador

    MANAGING AMBASSADOR

    My Mentor Denise, asked me to think about what I was willing to lose in order to be happy being me.

    I know I could lose a most of my family and friends, and worse case scenario I could lose my job and my ability to provide for myself. I really hope that dont happen. But its something anyone of us should consider when making any changes in our lives.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #7093
       Vanessa Law 
      Managing Ambassador

      SILVER

      Yes, I went through that exercise and I came to the conclusion for me, that it was not worth having anything if I couldn’t be myself.

      3 users thanked author for this post.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

©2019Transgender Heaven | Privacy | Terms of Service | Contact Vanessa

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Transgender Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account