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We all need someone to stand by us during our journey, to laugh with us and hold our hand as we navigate the ups and downs of our transition.
I was blessed to have a very good friend who was there throughout. She showed love and compassion from the first time I came out, spent time with me in the hospital during my SRS and came over at midnight to comfort me after one of my boyfriends found out about my transition before I could tell him (that’s a long story for another time).
I am deeply grateful to know her, and to have her as part of my life.
Who has stood by you during your transition?
What did they do to make your journey easier and smoother?
My parents have been my most steadfast support here in the early stages.Β But at 80+ won’t be able to assist with physical support should it be needed.Β I do have some friends who stay consistent, but time and distance are issues.
My own insecurities pushed me into longer distance connections as I tried to avoid accidental discovery by one of my employees who are in the LGBTQ community of this relatively small town.Β Now that I am full time I find myself scrambling to build a close support network.Β Β All things with time, but it sure does add to the angst of continued dysphoria.
What a blessing to have your family support you!
I was also blessed thus, my dad and his girlfriend took care of me after FFS, and my mom and the close friend I mentioned above took care of me during SRS. Truly blessed.
My father is very understanding but my mother isnβt… go figure. I also have my sister whoβs very accepting and my girlfriend. I had no intention of dating again until I was through this transition. But she and I met and sheβs just amazing. I came out to her a couple months into the relationship and expected that to be the end of things. But she was so gracious and supportive. She even looked up a number for a local transgender issues therapist for me!
Vanessa this place has given me a case of the bolds and with the continued support of you ladies and my family Maria is going to new heights of self actualization and self appreciation. The future is uncertain and the end is always near a rogue once said so I have on my lace panties cause I know the work coming and am ready oh so ready for it to begin. That said my “uncles” have stated their shock but also their love. My uncles partner who is a gorgeous man , and I don;t like men that way, said I was lovely and I nearly wept. Our dear friend in Eugene I told also as she is very active in the LGBTQ community and she said she would help with therapists and logistics of my transition. In all so far damn lucky by some of the words read here. So in that thought If I caan be there for one of you ladies in the process. Dear god let me know! love to you beautiful women
MariaBella Gomez-FreireMy spouse is my family Doctor and also my clinical psychiatrist she did for me what no other person alive has done. She showed me how I was coming out to her before. That there is nobody else who has supported my choices and decisions based on sexuality as she had. She treated me with positive reinforcement at the LGBT clinic where she works and treats us, and she has never sacrificed, jeapordized or compromised our life long commitment to each other.
My mother and brother can just about reach a stage of acceptance,but my mother is in a nursing home. I have had to reach out to those in the community, the twelve step programs are very non biased, and so is some of the activity with my meeting hoouse where i attend as a Quaker. I think it is important to keep the communication open, that TG woman are in constant need of voices who can offer support.
I havenβt started my transition yet but plan to get recommendations for a endocrinologist soon; as in next Thursday soon. I want so badly to begin HRT. For now though, Iβve been undergoing hair removal treatments and therapy for the past month and a half or two. After today I can definitely tell you who doesnβt support me. Everyone but my fiancΓ©; and she doesnβt realize how far βcrossdressingβ goes for me. Iβve heard nothing but negative comments about the trans community from my family all day. Poking fun, the derogatory words and names. My fiancΓ© had asked me to at least βactβ like their comments donβt bother me. Canβt tell you how hard that is.
This breaks my heart Skylar.Β Of course it bothers you and on a family scale it has to be so hard.Β Your fiancΓ© seems to be the one you need most and I hope you too can find your way through this together.Β Your journey will demand a lot of your time and energy and we are here to help as we can.Β One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is a local peer support group.Β This would be an invaluable resource as you move forward.Β It is something you should seek out as you will need all the support you can get.Β A therpist should be able to help you locate resources too.
Hugs, Cloe
Cloe, I grew up in a SUPER conservative home. Gay is a sin and god doesnβt make mistakes. Your right! God doesnβt make mistakes. He/she made us all unique. Was it loving? Absolutely. Constructive for my views on life? No. Iβm the black sheep. I never fit in even though I desperately tried to. But I will however hopefully have some kind of support other than my fiancΓ© soon. Iβve decided that my first biggest step, other than admitting to myself and my fiancΓ©, is telling my best friend of 20+ years. He still views me as a 100% normal guy. Little does he know, Iβve had a secret for years. So Tuesday should be fun. Iβm hoping my therapist can help find a local support group. My biggest fear right now is admitting to anyone else. My fiancΓ© still doesnβt know the full extent of it. Mainly because she had said certain things that question whether I want to tell her any more right now. Β so glad I have this community. You ladies are amazing!
I’m very lucky in that my family is very supportive, which is odd because they are very conservative and very Christian. But both my parents have assured me that even though they don’t agree with me making a transition, they don’t think it’s the right thing, and they hope I don’t decide to do it, if I do, they will support me the whole way and they will never stop loving me. That’s more than I could have hoped for, so I’m very happy that my family is willing to at least respect my feelings and choices. My parents are really the only one’s that know the extent of it, but I have two brothers. My older brother kind of knows, but honestly doesn’t really care, while my younger brother is only ten years old (quite a bit younger than I) and doesn’t have a clue. He just thinks I’m a tomboy and that’s that (I would be female to male, FYI). It’s hard to even bring it up to him so I haven’t tried yet and will probably only explain it to him when either he is old enough to understand, or when I actually take steps towards transitioning. Currently I’ve only scratched the surface with my counselor and am still in the stages of trying to figure out what I’m even going through emotionally/mentally before even considering trying to understand the physical aspects of it. However, as far as friends go, I have only vaguely suggested that there might even be a hint of gender dysphoria in me to most of them. None of them really even know, and honestly, I’m afraid to tell any of them.
[quote quote=25474]Cloe, I grew up in a SUPER conservative home. Gay is a sin and god doesnβt make mistakes. Your right! God doesnβt make mistakes. quote]
Absolutely, God doesn’t make mistakes. And he hears our cries for his help. He really hammered this home for me just yesterday.
As I was holding my brand new scripts for my hormones I remembered all of those nights lying in bed, begging Him to let me wake up girl or take it away. I started to cry. I realized that everytime I prayed, he was telling me “You already ARE a girl. And one day I’ll give you the opportunity and means to look and live as the girl you are”.
At first my parents couldn’t figure out why I wanted to be a woman. I was into everything any girl would be into growing up and not into any boy things at all I guess I was the opposite of a tomboy. Then after while my parents accepted it and supported me through everything. It was hard at first but then as the years passed the difficultly of having support went away. I would say my parents did support me the most and I didn’t really have any friends growing up anyway and have gained a lot of good female friends. I don’t tell anyone that I’m transgender and everyone assumes I’m female so I just let that go. I’m female on every document so that is no big deal. I feel that I am better received as a woman than I ever was as a man. I don’t think I ever really needed any support outside of my family.
My wife of 25 years had always been very supportive of my crossdressing (she knew when we met) but she did not want me to go on HRT, which i always understood. Since our divorce (we are still very good friends) 5 years ago, I did some “soul searching”, i sought professional advices and came to the conclusion that i wanted more than just wear lingerie. In the process, i also met a man (i discovered an other side of myself, suspected i had) who has been my partner the past 2 years. He has been very supportive in helping me going from crossdresser to TG. He encouraged me to go out all dressed up (so far i only agreed to go to LGBT places or with close friends). Supports me all the way in my desire to take HRT. At firdt i was thrilled, then, doing too much thinking, i started to ask myself: will he still love me with breasts? with a more feminine voice? with may be mood swings???????????? after several long discussions, he convinced me that he wanted me to transition as much as i want to. Just to say that having someone is important during those moments of our lives.
ps forgive me if i made some spelling mistakes, but english is not my native language.
My answer is perplexing Vanessa. Looking back I have came to the conclusion that the aggressive way I came out, and closing all the proverbial doors my family would have used to ridicule me. Everyone else close to me treats me the same with of course some comical sarcasm I begin with allowing them my outlook and attitude of it all.Β My life has changed very little due to he analog way I chose to live my life long ago as a gifted child, secluded, different, and unapologetic due to being born differently.
You girls are always hereΒ and since I always look forward to your company and kind words,Β Answering your question should cause most of you to smile because the answer lies within all of you and your unusually large hearts. Writing this has cause me to tear up as I have just realized all I have just wrote.Β You are truly angels of heaven an you all rock.Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Because of all of you?Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β “IΒ look at life each day as a sunshiny day.”
Huggz Tia
My daughter has been my most erstwhile supporter. To the extent she won’t be friends with anyone who doesn’t support the fact I’m transgender. Furthermore, she isn’t shy to say she has a transgender “dad”.Β I use the term in quotes because she also calls me mom sometimes.Β It’s ironic, but I’m probably more out of the closet from telling her, than me telling anyone else.Β Still, I can’t tell her to stop telling people, because I find it touching how she’s not only unashamed at having a transgender parent, but filled with pride.
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