- August 7, 2018 at 8:14 pm #3258
Vanessa LawManaging Ambassador
We all need someone to stand by us during our journey, to laugh with us and hold our hand as we navigate the ups and downs of our transition.
I was blessed to have a very good friend who was there throughout. She showed love and compassion from the first time I came out, spent time with me in the hospital during my SRS and came over at midnight to comfort me after one of my boyfriends found out about my transition before I could tell him (that’s a long story for another time).
I am deeply grateful to know her, and to have her as part of my life.
Who has stood by you during your transition?
What did they do to make your journey easier and smoother?
- December 16, 2018 at 1:05 pm #29437
Cloe, I grew up in a SUPER conservative home. Gay is a sin and god doesn’t make mistakes. Your right! God doesn’t make mistakes. quote]
Absolutely, God doesn’t make mistakes. And he hears our cries for his help. He really hammered this home for me just yesterday.
As I was holding my brand new scripts for my hormones I remembered all of those nights lying in bed, begging Him to let me wake up girl or take it away. I started to cry. I realized that everytime I prayed, he was telling me “You already ARE a girl. And one day I’ll give you the opportunity and means to look and live as the girl you are”.
- December 8, 2018 at 9:43 pm #28071Xelyn CraftParticipantBRONZE
I’m very lucky in that my family is very supportive, which is odd because they are very conservative and very Christian. But both my parents have assured me that even though they don’t agree with me making a transition, they don’t think it’s the right thing, and they hope I don’t decide to do it, if I do, they will support me the whole way and they will never stop loving me. That’s more than I could have hoped for, so I’m very happy that my family is willing to at least respect my feelings and choices. My parents are really the only one’s that know the extent of it, but I have two brothers. My older brother kind of knows, but honestly doesn’t really care, while my younger brother is only ten years old (quite a bit younger than I) and doesn’t have a clue. He just thinks I’m a tomboy and that’s that (I would be female to male, FYI). It’s hard to even bring it up to him so I haven’t tried yet and will probably only explain it to him when either he is old enough to understand, or when I actually take steps towards transitioning. Currently I’ve only scratched the surface with my counselor and am still in the stages of trying to figure out what I’m even going through emotionally/mentally before even considering trying to understand the physical aspects of it. However, as far as friends go, I have only vaguely suggested that there might even be a hint of gender dysphoria in me to most of them. None of them really even know, and honestly, I’m afraid to tell any of them.
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- December 16, 2018 at 5:10 pm #29465
I thought the same about my family. What I’ve since learned is that the ones who truly learn to love others vs loving a legal system are the ones that stay with you.
- November 22, 2018 at 2:04 pm #24924Skyler AnneParticipantFREE
I haven’t started my transition yet but plan to get recommendations for a endocrinologist soon; as in next Thursday soon. I want so badly to begin HRT. For now though, I’ve been undergoing hair removal treatments and therapy for the past month and a half or two. After today I can definitely tell you who doesn’t support me. Everyone but my fiancé; and she doesn’t realize how far “crossdressing” goes for me. I’ve heard nothing but negative comments about the trans community from my family all day. Poking fun, the derogatory words and names. My fiancé had asked me to at least “act” like their comments don’t bother me. Can’t tell you how hard that is.
- December 16, 2018 at 1:00 pm #29434
- November 23, 2018 at 7:32 am #25135
This breaks my heart Skylar. Of course it bothers you and on a family scale it has to be so hard. Your fiancé seems to be the one you need most and I hope you too can find your way through this together. Your journey will demand a lot of your time and energy and we are here to help as we can. One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is a local peer support group. This would be an invaluable resource as you move forward. It is something you should seek out as you will need all the support you can get. A therpist should be able to help you locate resources too.
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- November 24, 2018 at 11:17 pm #25474Skyler AnneParticipantFREE
Cloe, I grew up in a SUPER conservative home. Gay is a sin and god doesn’t make mistakes. Your right! God doesn’t make mistakes. He/she made us all unique. Was it loving? Absolutely. Constructive for my views on life? No. I’m the black sheep. I never fit in even though I desperately tried to. But I will however hopefully have some kind of support other than my fiancé soon. I’ve decided that my first biggest step, other than admitting to myself and my fiancé, is telling my best friend of 20+ years. He still views me as a 100% normal guy. Little does he know, I’ve had a secret for years. So Tuesday should be fun. I’m hoping my therapist can help find a local support group. My biggest fear right now is admitting to anyone else. My fiancé still doesn’t know the full extent of it. Mainly because she had said certain things that question whether I want to tell her any more right now. so glad I have this community. You ladies are amazing!
- October 27, 2018 at 9:19 pm #20442RobbenWendyParticipantFREE
My mother and brother can just about reach a stage of acceptance,but my mother is in a nursing home. I have had to reach out to those in the community, the twelve step programs are very non biased, and so is some of the activity with my meeting hoouse where i attend as a Quaker. I think it is important to keep the communication open, that TG woman are in constant need of voices who can offer support.
- October 23, 2018 at 3:03 am #19897
- October 22, 2018 at 11:48 pm #19858RobbenWendyParticipantFREE
My spouse is my family Doctor and also my clinical psychiatrist she did for me what no other person alive has done. She showed me how I was coming out to her before. That there is nobody else who has supported my choices and decisions based on sexuality as she had. She treated me with positive reinforcement at the LGBT clinic where she works and treats us, and she has never sacrificed, jeapordized or compromised our life long commitment to each other.
- August 9, 2018 at 3:19 pm #3849Anonymous
Vanessa this place has given me a case of the bolds and with the continued support of you ladies and my family Maria is going to new heights of self actualization and self appreciation. The future is uncertain and the end is always near a rogue once said so I have on my lace panties cause I know the work coming and am ready oh so ready for it to begin. That said my “uncles” have stated their shock but also their love. My uncles partner who is a gorgeous man , and I don;t like men that way, said I was lovely and I nearly wept. Our dear friend in Eugene I told also as she is very active in the LGBTQ community and she said she would help with therapists and logistics of my transition. In all so far damn lucky by some of the words read here. So in that thought If I caan be there for one of you ladies in the process. Dear god let me know! love to you beautiful women
- August 9, 2018 at 2:42 pm #3847TaraParticipantSILVER
My father is very understanding but my mother isn’t… go figure. I also have my sister who’s very accepting and my girlfriend. I had no intention of dating again until I was through this transition. But she and I met and she’s just amazing. I came out to her a couple months into the relationship and expected that to be the end of things. But she was so gracious and supportive. She even looked up a number for a local transgender issues therapist for me!
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- August 8, 2018 at 3:12 am #3376
My parents have been my most steadfast support here in the early stages. But at 80+ won’t be able to assist with physical support should it be needed. I do have some friends who stay consistent, but time and distance are issues.
My own insecurities pushed me into longer distance connections as I tried to avoid accidental discovery by one of my employees who are in the LGBTQ community of this relatively small town. Now that I am full time I find myself scrambling to build a close support network. All things with time, but it sure does add to the angst of continued dysphoria.
- August 9, 2018 at 9:11 am #3772Vanessa LawManaging AmbassadorSILVER
- August 10, 2018 at 8:49 pm #4101
I’m actually a bit concerned they will have their own physical problems at the same time. They’ve both slowed considerably as of late and dad is starting to show other issues. I can see having to arrange any surgeries around siblings calendars. Geez, why didn’t I do this a long time ago?
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