Who has supported you through your transition?

This topic contains 18 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by  Christelle Christelle 3 months ago.

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #3258

    Vanessa Law
    Managing Ambassador

    We all need someone to stand by us during our journey, to laugh with us and hold our hand as we navigate the ups and downs of our transition.

    I was blessed to have a very good friend who was there throughout. She showed love and compassion from the first time I came out, spent time with me in the hospital during my SRS and came over at midnight to comfort me after one of my boyfriends found out about my transition before I could tell him (that’s a long story for another time).

    I am deeply grateful to know her, and to have her as part of my life.

    Who has stood by you during your transition?

    What did they do to make your journey easier and smoother?

  • Author
    Replies
  • #32412
     Christelle Christelle 
    Participant

    FREE

    My wife of 25 years had always been very supportive of my crossdressing (she knew when we met) but she did not want me to go on HRT, which i always understood. Since our divorce (we are still very good friends) 5 years ago, I did some “soul searching”, i sought professional advices and came to the conclusion that i wanted more than just wear lingerie. In the process, i also met a man (i discovered an other side of myself, suspected i had) who has been my partner the past 2 years. He has been very supportive in helping me going from crossdresser to TG. He encouraged me to go out all dressed up (so far i only agreed to go to LGBT places or with close friends). Supports me all the way in my desire to take HRT. At firdt i was thrilled, then, doing too much thinking, i started to ask myself: will he still love me with breasts? with a more feminine voice? with may be mood swings???????????? after several long discussions, he convinced me that he wanted me to transition as much as i want to. Just to say that having someone is important during those moments of our lives.

    ps forgive me if i made some spelling mistakes, but english is not my native language.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
  • #32410
     Cassandra McDaniel 
    Participant

    SILVER

    At first my parents couldn’t figure out why I wanted to be a woman. I was into everything any girl would be into growing up and not into any boy things at all I guess I was the opposite of a tomboy. Then after while my parents accepted it and supported me through everything. It was hard at first but then as the years passed the difficultly of having support went away. I would say my parents did support me the most and I didn’t really have any friends growing up anyway and have gained a lot of good female friends. I don’t tell anyone that I’m transgender and everyone assumes I’m female so I just let that go. I’m female on every document so that is no big deal. I feel that I am better received as a woman than I ever was as a man. I don’t think I ever really needed any support outside of my family.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #29437
     Karen Michaels 
    Participant

    FREE

    Cloe, I grew up in a SUPER conservative home. Gay is a sin and god doesn’t make mistakes. Your right! God doesn’t make mistakes. quote]

    Absolutely, God doesn’t make mistakes. And he hears our cries for his help. He really hammered this home for me just yesterday.

    As I was holding my brand new scripts for my hormones I remembered all of those nights lying in bed, begging Him to let me wake up girl or take it away. I started to cry. I realized that everytime I prayed, he was telling me “You already ARE a girl. And one day I’ll give you the opportunity and means to look and live as the girl you are”.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
  • #28071
     Xelyn Craft 
    Participant

    BRONZE

    I’m very lucky in that my family is very supportive, which is odd because they are very conservative and very Christian. But both my parents have assured me that even though they don’t agree with me making a transition, they don’t think it’s the right thing, and they hope I don’t decide to do it, if I do, they will support me the whole way and they will never stop loving me. That’s more than I could have hoped for, so I’m very happy that my family is willing to at least respect my feelings and choices. My parents are really the only one’s that know the extent of it, but I have two brothers. My older brother kind of knows, but honestly doesn’t really care, while my younger brother is only ten years old (quite a bit younger than I) and doesn’t have a clue. He just thinks I’m a tomboy and that’s that (I would be female to male, FYI). It’s hard to even bring it up to him so I haven’t tried yet and will probably only explain it to him when either he is old enough to understand, or when I actually take steps towards transitioning. Currently I’ve only scratched the surface with my counselor and am still in the stages of trying to figure out what I’m even going through emotionally/mentally before even considering trying to understand the physical aspects of it. However, as far as friends go, I have only vaguely suggested that there might even be a hint of gender dysphoria in me to most of them. None of them really even know, and honestly, I’m afraid to tell any of them.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #29465
       Cloe (CC) Webb 
      Managing Ambassador

      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      I thought the same about my family.  What I’ve since learned is that the ones who truly learn to love others vs loving a legal system are the ones that stay with you.

  • #24924
     Skyler Anne 
    Participant

    FREE

    I haven’t started my transition yet but plan to get recommendations for a endocrinologist soon; as in next Thursday soon. I want so badly to begin HRT. For now though, I’ve been undergoing hair removal treatments and therapy for the past month and a half or two. After today I can definitely tell you who doesn’t support me. Everyone but my fiancé; and she doesn’t realize how far “crossdressing” goes for me. I’ve heard nothing but negative comments about the trans community from my family all day. Poking fun, the derogatory words and names. My fiancé had asked me to at least “act” like their comments don’t bother me. Can’t tell you how hard that is.

    4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #29434
       Karen Michaels 
      Participant

      FREE

       

    • #25135
       Cloe (CC) Webb 
      Managing Ambassador

      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      This breaks my heart Skylar.  Of course it bothers you and on a family scale it has to be so hard.  Your fiancé seems to be the one you need most and I hope you too can find your way through this together.  Your journey will demand a lot of your time and energy and we are here to help as we can.  One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is a local peer support group.  This would be an invaluable resource as you move forward.  It is something you should seek out as you will need all the support you can get.  A therpist should be able to help you locate resources too.

      Hugs, Cloe

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #25474
         Skyler Anne 
        Participant

        FREE

        Cloe, I grew up in a SUPER conservative home. Gay is a sin and god doesn’t make mistakes. Your right! God doesn’t make mistakes. He/she made us all unique. Was it loving? Absolutely. Constructive for my views on life? No. I’m the black sheep. I never fit in even though I desperately tried to. But I will however hopefully have some kind of support other than my fiancé soon. I’ve decided that my first biggest step, other than admitting to myself and my fiancé, is telling my best friend of 20+ years. He still views me as a 100% normal guy. Little does he know, I’ve had a secret for years. So Tuesday should be fun. I’m hoping my therapist can help find a local support group. My biggest fear right now is admitting to anyone else. My fiancé still doesn’t know the full extent of it. Mainly because she had said certain things that question whether I want to tell her any more right now.  so glad I have this community. You ladies are amazing!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
  • #20442
     RobbenWendy 
    Participant

    FREE

    My mother and brother can just about reach a stage of acceptance,but my mother is in a nursing home. I have had to reach out to those in the community, the twelve step programs are very non biased, and so is some of the activity with my meeting hoouse where i attend as a Quaker. I think it is important to keep the communication open, that TG woman are in constant need of voices who can offer support.

  • #19897
     Jamiealso 
    Participant

    FREE

    This website has been fantastic for helping me and also my therapist and counselor who keeps me knowing I am normal to be a woman

    1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #19858
     RobbenWendy 
    Participant

    FREE

    My spouse is my family Doctor and also my clinical psychiatrist she did for me what no other person alive has done. She showed me how I was coming out to her before. That there is nobody else who has supported my choices and decisions based on sexuality as she had. She treated me with positive reinforcement at the LGBT clinic where she works and treats us, and she has never sacrificed, jeapordized or compromised our life long commitment to each other.

  • #3849
     Anonymous

    Vanessa this place has given me a case of the bolds and with the continued support of you ladies and my family Maria is going to new heights of self actualization and self appreciation. The future is uncertain and the end is always near a rogue once said so I have on my lace panties cause I know the work coming and am ready oh so ready for it to begin. That said my “uncles” have stated their shock but also their love. My uncles partner who is a gorgeous man , and I don;t like men that way, said I was lovely and I nearly wept. Our dear friend in Eugene I told also as she is very active in the LGBTQ community and she said she would help with therapists and logistics of my transition. In all so far damn lucky by some of the words read here. So in that thought If I caan be there for one of you ladies in the process. Dear god let me know! love to you beautiful women
    MariaBella Gomez-Freire

    2 users thanked author for this post.
  • #3847
     Tara 

    My father is very understanding but my mother isn’t… go figure. I also have my sister who’s very accepting and my girlfriend. I had no intention of dating again until I was through this transition. But she and I met and she’s just amazing. I came out to her a couple months into the relationship and expected that to be the end of things. But she was so gracious and supportive. She even looked up a number for a local transgender issues therapist for me!

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #3912
       Vanessa Law 
      Managing Ambassador

      SILVER

      Wow, what an angel! I’m glad she’s in your life!

  • #3376
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador

    MANAGING AMBASSADOR

    My parents have been my most steadfast support here in the early stages.  But at 80+ won’t be able to assist with physical support should it be needed.  I do have some friends who stay consistent, but time and distance are issues.

    My own insecurities pushed me into longer distance connections as I tried to avoid accidental discovery by one of my employees who are in the LGBTQ community of this relatively small town.  Now that I am full time I find myself scrambling to build a close support network.   All things with time, but it sure does add to the angst of continued dysphoria.

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #3772
       Vanessa Law 
      Managing Ambassador

      SILVER

      What a blessing to have your family support you!

      I was also blessed thus, my dad and his girlfriend took care of me after FFS, and my mom and the close friend I mentioned above took care of me during SRS. Truly blessed.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #4101
         Cloe (CC) Webb 
        Managing Ambassador

        MANAGING AMBASSADOR

        I’m actually a bit concerned they will have their own physical problems at the same time. They’ve both slowed considerably as of late and dad is starting to show other issues.  I can see having to  arrange any surgeries around siblings calendars.  Geez, why didn’t I do this a long time ago?

        2 users thanked author for this post.

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