Hi everyone. Natural born male in the questioning phase of this journey, I suppose. My therapist recommended I join a forum and support group to connect with others who may have been struggling with the same things I have. To be honest I have been suppressing the feelings of wanting to be a woman my entire life. As a child I would remember praying every night that I would wake up as the person I felt I was. I eventually fell into the practice of living my life for others expectations and just pushed the feelings deep down to where they were numb. I rationalized with myself that I can only play the hand I was dealt at birth so I may as well play it as best I can. I don't think that way of thinking is really working for me now. I'm afraid I've just been existing and not really living by numbing this part of me for 37 years. The hurdles I have now though are that I am married with a young child. I love my wife and if I were to go down this path I'm sure the relationship would end. I come from a divorced household that has, and still is, impacting me in negative ways and I don't want that for my son. I also feel like I'd be robbing my son of a "male figure" in his life if I were to embrace these feelings. On top of all that a part of me (probably the rationalizing part of my brain) feels it's too late for me. My hormones are set, I have male pattern baldness, wide shoulders, big feet, hands and a blocky body frame. When I look in the mirror I don't see any trace of the person I feel like on the inside. Anyway, sorry for the rambling. It's nice to just share these feelings if anything.