I was married for 29 yrs. and raised 3 children who now have children of there own which makes me a grandfather of 9. I have lived with wanting to be femme as far back as 8 yrs. old that I can remember. Not understanding it throughout my life and still not . I have started going out publicly April 2021. I have never known or been around anyone of my nature to talk with or discuss cross dressing or Trans gendering. I have subdued it a lot from fears throughout my life, always wanting to blossom with femme and considering myself as a cross dresser. I have always had it in me and when I do put on femme it seems natural and I just want to so much more. I used to get sad when I had to undress and clean myself up. I had times when I would blossom. Acting out for long periods of time during the day when I was on night shift for at least 10 yrs. and the kids were in school. Which is part of the reason for my wife filing for divorce. Towards the end of our marriage I purged every femme thing I owned and tried to dismiss my acting out and live without it since it was the biggest reason my wife told me that caused her to stop loving me. (It never went away). After that I had a 12 yr. relationship with a women who didn't and couldn't understand it. During that 12 yrs. I was allowed to wear leggings and certain cotton tops. I would have time to myself occasionally to get fully dressed. she passed August 2020. I have been living alone now in my later years still working. Finally Apr. 17th 2021 was the day I broke through my fears and I went beyond my front door as Janice and haven't stopped yet. It only gets better. Started HRT Oct. 21.