Greetings from Michigan

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    Topic
  • #137263
    Natalie Light
    Participant

    Greetings everyone,

    Always struggle with these but here I go. I’ve been finding myself out and where I wanna go with my gender presentation for awhile. However, for the past several years I kept coming up with excuses to put it off and I recently just kind of ran out of excuses so I am trying to push forward and really just let myself be myself.

    Would love to hear from more people.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
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    Replies
    • #137345
      missyjo
      FREE

      Natalie

      for me, every new step has been..terrifying,..n then it fades n I’m happy I took it..so far…like now I just got my ears pierced..n am happy but still trying to hide from certain folks.

      these other people here have much wisdom n compassion they generously share. my recklessness may not work out well for me..I still don’t know, but right now, to me n for me, it seems ok. that doesn’t make it right for everyone or fir whatever stage they are on.

      I’m much happier n content as missy full-time..but I’m sure there will be costs..

      you dear  must explore n pick what sounds right fit you at that moment. we will all love n support whatever choice you make sear.

      good luck to all

      and big thanks

      .hugs

      ps Darlene oh go wear that new bikini honey..I’m tired if waiting until it’s perfect to participate. hugs

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #137328
      missyjo
      FREE

      Ladies,

      DeeAnn is probably very correct..n I am being semi reckless here..like when I bump into folks I went to high school with…I guess it’s out

      part if me doesn’t care n sort of finds it ..liberating..but as I said, this is semi reckless n there will be no stuffing the story back in the bag

      good luck

      tanning in bikini on my deck n hoping neighbors don’t stop by

      giggles

      hugs

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #137334
        DeeAnn Hopings
        AMBASSADOR

        Keep in mind that when difficult discussions happen, they have to be conducted in a way that people can hear what is being said. When an argument starts, we are no longer listening; it often becomes a shouting match and we are forced into a defensive mode. All logic is overridden in the heat of the moment. It boils down to who is the loudest and who can insult the worst. Anything that we can say in our defense will just not be heard. In that situation there isn’t much that we can do besides walk away. And given how this encounter turned out, who knows how it will go in the future?

        Before I did my public coming out, I told my daughter and son, 7 or 8 close friends and my then department manager. My thought process was that I wanted to say what I needed to say, give people an opportunity to ask questions and avoid hearing this news by someone else. It often seems t me that in the absence of information, people make up their own. In this situation, they have been told. They can fabricate whatever information that they want, but they can’t say they haven’t been told.

        But, what is always important is that everyone must figure out what course of action makes sense to them. We have to own, and be satisfied with, whatever we decide to do. Unfortunately there are no shortcuts, no One Size Fits All and no magic bullets here.

        Conscious thought and deliberation is our friend.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #137339

          Amen,You hit that right on the button, you are exactly right with everything you said I totally agree, you have a awesome and blessed day.

          1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #137332

        I know about being a little reckless, I will walk around outside on my 50 acres and cabin with my bikini on,It’s exhilarating and free, But hoping someone just don’t show up,

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #137333
          missyjo
          FREE

          Darlene

          50? wow! we have 3 n I was tanning on deck today in a new bikini ..if someone shows up, I guess I blush n pull a shirt on..I’ve sort of accepted myself this way..even before a good therapist. is it wise? probably not. definitely not prudent but living 2 genders was killing me n exhausting. close neighbors haven’t said anything, yet. mail carrier asked politely when we were chatting. shrugs, so what

          yes I hope we all find our correct paths, including myself, i hope this is right for my life..I’ve thought of it for a long time..

          happy tanning dear

          hugs

          • #137341

            So I also bought a new bikini this year. I have not tried it on yet has not warmed up enough yet .I’ve got a little winter belly, hoping to shed it off first. I usually carry shirt and a pair shorts with me every time I am out and have it on case someone shows up, but I guess in reality it’s too late by then. But that’s just the way I’ve lived my life.. it is so awesome to know there are others like me. Thank you. for your support and understanding. you have an amazing day today it’s sunny here and I believe around 70. It’s going to be a beautiful day.

    • #137324
      missyjo
      FREE

      Natalie

      hello girl. I found myself worried sick someone would find out I was dressed at home, so I changed n redid my nails everything I needed to ho out or a contractor was comming by. it was exhausting. finally a friend said if this is you, get over it n own it. wear your boobs n heels to go shopping n run your errands. nobody really cares. so other than moms or siblings  I’ve lived as missy since..probably early November. first few trips are scary then you start to realize everyone else has their own stuff to worry about. our boobs or heels isn’t at the top of their list. even priest said you may get a few looks but hey  come pray however you wish. so I do. last few weeks even started using ladies rooms instead of mens..n know what? they don’t care either. come in do your thing, check your makeup n move on. just like everyone else

      I’ve heard others say they drive an hour away to first venture out.

      good luck sweeiie. it’s more relaxing n fun when you try it n get used to it.

       

      hugs

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #137325
        DeeAnn Hopings
        AMBASSADOR

        I think the distance comes into play because people may not want their truth to be revealed before they are ready. When you come out, you want to be able to tell your truth, your way. If someone beats you to it, it is very difficult to get the narrative back as you are on the defensive at that point. It is very important to hold the high ground here.

    • #137314

      Hello Natalie,

      Welcome to our TransGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Transgender Support Site. We are a wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.

      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.
      Glad you are here. Looking forward to seeing you on the site.
      Terri Anne, Ambassador  🏳‍⚧

      ============ TGH MtF ChatRoom ============================
      https://transgenderheaven.com/chat/mtf-transgender-chat/

      =========== TGH How-to Navigation ============================
      https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/topic/member-howto-for-navigating-the-tgh-website/

    • #137305

      Greetings everyone,

      Always struggle with these but here I go. I’ve been finding myself out and where I wanna go with my gender presentation for awhile. However, for the past several years I kept coming up with excuses to put it off and I recently just kind of ran out of excuses so I am trying to push forward and really just let myself be myself.

      Would love to hear from more people.

      Greetings michigander

    • #137274

      Hi Natalie please go for it all the way dont be like me otherwise you will regret it like me.You know you want to so dont hold back. My problem was.I didnt realise I was feminine until my late seventies and I was struggling with health issues.
      Wish you the best of luck darling xxx

    • #137269
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Natalie:

      Glad that you found us and, for certain, you are among like minded folks.

      I see that you are from Ypsilanti. I’m originally from Toledo although I left in 1990. Since then I’ve lived in Joliet IL, Corning NY and retired to Cathedral City CA. No gloves, winter coats and snow shovels!?!? Anyway, always good to have another Midwesterner in the house!

      It is often an interesting thing about running out of excuses, as you put it. We often realize that we don’t have to invest energy in maintaining the facade and that we can direct that energy to much more useful purposes. As Des’ree sang in I Ain’t Movin’: “Time’s much too short to be livin’, somebody else’s life”.

      You mentioned growing up poor. I would think that it’d isn’t that much different from the mindset of those who lived through the Depression. One of the things that can happen for trans women regarding clothing and other things is the buy-purge-buy-purge cycle. This is really counter productive to say nothing of expensive. Hopefully your thought processes about money will help to counteract that.

      If you would like to search for other members in your area, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

      Are you currently connected with the trans community? It is a great way to ward off any feelings of isolation, which is sadly prevalent in our community. In response to the pandemic, many LGBT centers started doing support and social groups online. This is a great help if time, distance or transportation are issues. I suggest firing up your search engine of choice and see what’s out there!

      Thanks for putting effort into your Profile page. It really helps other members to understand your situation better. Also, your page will always be readily available and can be update at any time.

    • #137267
      Mariah M
      FREE

      Hi Natalie, I noticed when you said its difficult to describe yourself. Thats me for sure. It’s good to see your input. thanks Mariah

    • #137265

      Natalie,

      I think many if not most of us have repressed or have found reasons to inhibit our true expression. I suspect you have not found my posts or responses to many of the wonderful women on this sight. And when I mean women, I truly mean women. I, myself, don’t wish to consider myself trans. I feel I now truly am the woman I perhaps should have been for a long long time. I do not deny my prior manhood and feel I had a purpose for being so. We are the few who actually get to know both sides in our lifetimes. I am a girl now, and I plan to live the rest of my life as such. Any help, or just talk, I can provide will be a pleasure to me.

      JAKe/Jeri

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