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Hi everyone,
My name is Tara and I am a transgendered woman from near Lincoln in the U.K.
I have always felt different and when younger considered going down the transition route. Β However, family life and work commitments took over and I thought I could bury my feelings. I opened up to my wife that I like to dress as a woman and she accepted this, I have never been open with her or anyone else that my true feelings go deeper than this.
I am now at a point where I feel I cannot continue to live this lie and need to be true to myself. Β I have joined to make friends and to also gain advice and support on my future journey.
I am so pleased to be here and I look forward to connecting with so many nice people.
Love,
Tara x
Hi Tara, welcome! I came out to my wife last July. We’ve been married 40 years, and she was totally shocked. Initial empathy turned to anger and resentment shortly after. At the time, I believed I was a PT crossdresser and she agreed since I wouldn’t ever be clear of it that I could dress, but stay in the closet, so to speak.
As I began to explore local resources and consult with a therapist that specializes in gender questioning and our couple therapist also weighed in, it became clear my anxiety and distress wasn’t just from hiding the crossdressing for 60 years. I realized I needed HRT as a minimum to get a handle on my dysphoria. So, we went through another marital crisis just a couple of months from the initial bombshell.
My wife asked if I wanted to “become a woman” which I answered that it is physically impossible, but I did want to grow breasts, get an orchiectomy (to not take t-blockers forever), and live AS a woman pretty much FT.
Amazingly, my wife has not left yet. It has been incredibly stressful for us, and I wonder almost daily if I am doing the right thing. But, I won’t survive long as I have been. My hope is my wife will come to love and accept Brielle as her spouse, but we may never get there. If I fully transition (bottom surgery) she says that’s the deal-breaker. I’m hoping if everything else falls into place, I won’t feel like that’s something I have to do.
We are in separate bedrooms now as an “experiment” for 90 days or so. My wife is supportive of me dressing, being on this forum and CDH, she’s okay with me going to the Keystone Conference in March in Harrisburg, PA. So she’s been very flexible. BUT she thinks she will not be attracted to me as a woman.
Anyway, my advice is if you are having these thoughts (that there is more to it than being a PT crossdresser), don’t wait to talk honestly about what you need. My wife still feels like she can’t trust me anymore, and that I want more than I’m telling her (both are not true). Don’t put off telling her what is going on to “spare her feelings”. She is transitioning as well, and has a lot less time processing it than we have.
Good luck, and please private message me if you want to chat.
Hugs!
Brie
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Hi Tara I too am struggling not to be me all the time it’s inevitable I will become Emma I’ve got to 55 and tried to bury my true self since I was a teen-ager my partner of 26 years supports me all the way and helps me a lot lovely to see you on here I’m in Sheffield so not a million miles away xHello Tara,
Welcome to our TransgGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Wonderful, Accepting, Loving, Helpful Community where you can be safe and be yourself.
The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.Glad you are here,
Terri Anne, Ambassador======= Here is a link to the MtoF Chat room: ========
https://transgenderheaven.com/chat/mtf-transgender-chat/======== TGH Membership PLANS ===================
https://transgenderheaven.com/choose-your-plan/#link_acc-1-3-d=========== TGH How-to Navigation ============================
https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/topic/member-howto-for-navigating-the-tgh-website/Tara you are definitely in the right place. That’s the same reason I joined, that and to get information for my transition. I was afraid to post a picture of myself.. I had told absolutely no one since I was like 8.. I was isolated and very sad. Since joining TGH, I have made friends..met more girls like myself. I have told 6 ppl face-to-face about Jessica. I have gained confidence in myself and started smiling again. I’ve lost a lot of shame and become happy with who I am. I posted 2 pics of myself (lol, without my face visible..still ugly and hairy but working on it).. And I’ve talked to a couple doctors and counselors about becoming Jessi. Joining this site was one of the best things to happen in my life in a very long time. Welcome girl! Don’t be afraid to say what you feel and ask what you need to know. Everyone will help you..You’re home, Sissy! (I know ppl like to call us sissies, but that’s my word for sister so please no one take offense). π
π – Jessica
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