I am new here

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #126533
    helena gracia
    Participant

    Hi

    Looking for a place where find information and people with transgender experience I found this and i think is great. I am 46. Crosdressing more than 20 years. Atracted to women clothes since I was a child and wearing some bras and similar but 20 years ago I started to wear completely like a woman and going outdoors in public. I do it only where people don´t recognize me, but still in the closet to my fam, friends, coworkers or anybody in my city. I thought I could have like a 2 different personalities and lifes. But Wearing women clothes won’t enough for me. I wanted to be more and more feminine every time. I didn´t like my imperfections. Arriving to a situation where the only way to “improve” were permanent changes I started to question myself. Questioning this issue I realize it has been affecting my life permanently. So many questions and fear getting me crazy.

Viewing 7 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #128039
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Helena:

      You found us! Very Good!

      There are many here who are, or have been, in a similar situation. When we consider what out gender identity may be different from what we thought, we realize that a great upheaval to our lives is likely in our future. Just thinking about this can cause all sorts of fear and anxiety for us. It crosses just about every boundary regarding how we live, our family situations, our employment, community standing, etc. There is nothing trivial about it.

      Many people here have been helped by working with a therapist. The problem is that it can be very difficult to think through our issues in a clear and objective manner. A therapist can help with that. However, it is important to find someone with experience in gender issues. Many therapists do not have that particular experience.

      If you would like to search for other members who may be close, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

      Also, it would be helpful if you completed your Profile page as it helps other to understand you better.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #127197
      Willa
      FREE

      Hi. Welcome. Hope you find what you’re looking for here. Plenty of experience and minds to pick. They’ve been really helpful and kind to me so far.

      So what are you planning or considering to do next to fulfill yourself?

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #127985

        trying to express myself in my everyday life. Expressing my feminity more freely.

    • #127188

      Hii

    • #126637

      Hi, I read this and it reminds me so many ch f myself. I understand what you’ve been through. I wish I’d known 25 years ago that I was actually a woman. Would’ve mad things easier. I remember the first time I dressed up all the way as a girl. I’d played with panties  and bras my entire life but when I put that dress on I finally felt like myself.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #127986

        Same as me. I´ve the feeling of have realized late and wish I’d known it before, like you. Thak you for your comment

    • #126636

      Hi, I read this and it reminds me so many ch f myself. I understand what you’ve been through. I wish I’d known 25 years ago that I was actually a woman.

    • #126581
      Terri Anne
      AMBASSADOR

      Hello Helena,

      Welcome to our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.

      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.

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      Terri Anne, Ambassador

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #126550

      Hi

      Looking for a place where find information and people with transgender experience I found this and i think is great. I am 46. Crosdressing more than 20 years. Atracted to women clothes since I was a child and wearing some bras and similar but 20 years ago I started to wear completely like a woman and going outdoors in public. I do it only where people don´t recognize me, but still in the closet to my fam, friends, coworkers or anybody in my city. I thought I could have like a 2 different personalities and lifes. But Wearing women clothes won’t enough for me. I wanted to be more and more feminine every time. I didn´t like my imperfections. Arriving to a situation where the only way to “improve” were permanent changes I started to question myself. Questioning this issue I realize it has been affecting my life permanently. So many questions and fear getting me crazy.

      You are not alone I think any of us suffer the same thing I do I’m in San Diego I try to go out and I get scared I get all dressed and then stay

      inside and being a woman takes three

      times as long but four times the fun.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #127987

        I only go out dressed where people doesn’t know me. I’am too shy to do this in my city.

    • #126548
      Brielle
      FREE

      Hello Helena, I came to the same realization almost a year ago. I’ve been married for 40 years and revealed my crossdressing to my wife last July. Then a couple of months after that we realized I also need more and I started HRT in November.

      I had started back dressing about this time last year after a several year purge period. I wanted everything to be as close to real as possible, like you. The only advice I could give you is find a good gender therapist if you can, and come out to your immediate family early in the process. You didn’t say if you have a wife or SO, but the longer you go in not telling them, the worse it gets for both of you.

      Good luck, and I wish you success in your journey!

      Hugs,

      Brie

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #127988

        I’m not married Brie, no partner. But it scared me too much coming out. I don’t know if it’s worth doing it

        • #128023
          Brielle
          FREE

          Hi Helena, I wonder almost every day if it is worth it myself. But I tore myself nearly apart trying to process the guilt and also feeling like there was no social group I felt a part of until now.

          I was always terrified someone would find out my secret side and so it forced me to keep everyone at a distance – including my loved ones. Dealing with the revelations has been better than a life of constant stress and anxiety, IMO.

          Best to just live your authentic life and find out who affirms you and supports you as you become who you were meant to be.

          Hugs,

          Brie

          1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #128693

            I was always terrified someone would find out my secret side and so it forced me to keep everyone at a distance – including my loved ones.

            This describes perfectly what I feel and my situation

             

          • #128694
            Brielle
            FREE

            I lived that for 6 decades! I felt like I was worthless to everyone around me. My work suffered, my family didn’t want to be around me a lot of the time.

            As I’ve come out, so far there’s been nothing but support. No ridicule, no harrassment (that may come, yes, but it will be limited). People respect us when we say “this is who I am and need to be”. We envision it much harder than it usually is, I think.

            But you do you – don’t let others talk you into or out of anything. It’s your life and you have a right to live it as best you can. We’re all here for you!!

            Hugs,

            Brie

            1 user thanked author for this post.
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