Chastity

Unfortunately I see the desire to be objectified in our community. I believe it is a manifestation of the desire for feminine acceptance. This and porn can be a way to finance the expensive surgeries. I am not above a little TG porn.But after the vicarious pleasures are over I find it makes me kind of sad and empty after watching it along with the feeling I am contributing to a problem. It also makes me feel guilt as a spouse and enhances frustration about not being fully “out” but being fully committed. In the end the objectification of women in general is tweaked by the taboo exotic nature of a beautiful pre-bottom surgery woman. The desire for societal beauty conformity in the TG community I think hurts us in that for most of us it is not even remotely possible and accepting  the inner self as a beautiful woman needs to precede the physical pursuit of beauty as a woman. Label these as thoughts from someone who thinks what is inside defines us more than our body style or societal expectation and who has deep compassion for her sisters and their struggles

love to you sweetheart and thank you for this post

MariaBella

I think you are right, you have to accept yourself on the inside first.  I would think if anything the chastity device would create even more dysphoria by drawing attention.  I go tucked all t e time and many days don't even know I am.

Self love is the only feeling worth living for. My last time being harrassed i was chased down the block twice, but when it was my turn i bullied back, and told them both to live out their celibacy behind bars. I have thought to family as being a crutch. Dysphoria can add to a fear of sex and of misplaced sexual energy. I do not always believe being TG is a disability, that implies debhilitation. But i know we are faced with both a biased amd non biased world. Self love and avoiding self harm is the only way.

Hello, i agree with you that porn and sex work is a hindrance to the soul and spirit. We are in a time when gender identity is becoming that much more expansive. I think it is fitting forTG women to start living by amore ethical code of values. If my spouse is accepting of my having a female identoty, than that is enough without having to go through the guilt and the shame. I am also an academic and a journalist from Hunter college transgeder stories of transgender lives are so much more telling when the person is stable.

Hi, Tara,

I find greater satisfaction and, ergo, self-acceptance and reassurance in my identity by controlling my body with my own mind than I would if I wore a chastity device. Since I was young, I hated the mistake between my legs and hoped that I would wake up one day and be who I really am, a woman. I feel chastity, for me, would remind me constantly of what's, unfortunately, there versus wearing a gaff and feeling feminine.  I would like to know more about why you want to wear a chastity device. If it is to control erections and sexual release, which can contribute to dysphoria, you may want to try muffing. I recently learned about it and wish I had started years ago.

<p style="text-align: center;">For me it was a blessing that allowed me to put aside my male sex drive and allow me to talk with my inner feminine self. My big issue for a long time was that j was using my male sex drive to drown out all my trans related thoughts and feelings.  When I put on cage I was able to allow my subconscious to express itself. Turns out my subconscious is female and told me to stop lying to myself. All the porn and the high sexual tension was fun but when I finally put two and two together and realized that it added up to I'm Trans! I lost all interest and took the cage off.</p>
Now I am on a soul searching vouage trying to refigure my self out sexually. I won't get rid  of my cages, if the urge comes back why not let it take me away for a little while, so long as it didn't cause harm to me emotionally.

A chastity device just reminds me its there.