The monthly goals of a transgender woman

Feb 12, 2021, Happy Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year is on the first day of the first lunar month of the year. Typically we wish each other good health, lots of wealth, and happiness.

People often make New Year resolutions or set goals for themselves at the beginning of each year, but very often these good intentions fall to the wayside after a short time. That is why I don’t believe in New Year resolutions. They could have been made on or near full moon days when people go crazy.

When my ex-wife and I separated in the early ’90s, at the time I was under severe financial and mental stress, because I promised to give her child support for my daughters until my youngest daughter finished university. I was giving her two-thirds of my after-tax income. After the separation from my ex-wife, for the first year or two, my girlfriend and I survived on a lot of peanut butter sandwiches. Big changes in the direction of my life were brought about after reading and then practicing, setting 10 goals on the first day of each lunar month; everything became easier and easier.

For almost 30 years, setting 10 goals in that way has helped me through stressful, disturbing and unsettling times since. The full moon or 15th day of the lunar month is when people go crazy, fall in love, look for fights etc. Conversely, on the new moon day or the first day of the lunar month, your mind is at its clearest, and a window of opportunity opens up in the universe to help make your dreams come true. New moon dates for the rest of 2021 are Feb 11, Mar 13, Apr 11, May 11, Jun 10, July 9, Aug 8, Sep 6, Oct 6, Nov 4, Dec 4. Write down 10 goals on each of these dates and read them out loud to yourself every day until the next new moon day.

As a novice, I initially wrote crazy unattainable goals like winning a big lottery. However, I settled down to writing more realistic goals. I found that in goals or areas where I did not do too well one month, I would move them to a higher priority the next month. Basically, you ask yourself ‘What are the things I want most in my life?’ Don’t think too much about it. just jot down whatever pops into your head, 10 things or goals. You will find that over time, writing monthly goals for a few years, the goals become more or less the same every month, perhaps with some minor tweaks or refinement.

What do people want the most in their lives?

Health is at the top of the list. To be healthy, to feel good, look good and to be at their optimum weight. A healthy diet and exercise certainly helps people to love themselves and their bodies, a shrine to their souls. I am glad I have always been health conscious. My father died from a heart attack caused by his heavy smoking. I could not stand the smell of smoke, I recall when I was young, my father and I were in an elevator, I held my breath until I got out. I have always been physically active and have done the same stretching exercises every morning for over 60 years, one I learnt from junior school. I am thankful for attending the Outward Bound course twice. I learnt so much about my limitations, physical abilities, and mental capabilities. I still live the school’s motto: To Serve, To Strive, and Not To Yield.

The second is to be happy and loved by your family, friends, and loved ones; this is so important. I say those words in my #3 Goal, listed below, about building happy memories. to couples who are getting married, wishing they will continue to build lots of happy memories together. I say the same words to couples who are getting married, console friends whose loved ones have passed away, giving them strength. I am happy to be loved by and to have children who turned out to be good decent people.

The third is usually financial, job security, and career advancement. Within two years of writing 10 goals each lunar month, my financial position became so much better, that my girlfriend and I no longer had to subsist on peanut butter sandwiches, we could afford to enjoy going out to nice restaurants.

The rest of the goals can revolve around any activity one enjoys doing, sports and exercises, dancing, singing, hobbies, arts and crafts, being one in nature, etc. It is important to find an activity that one really enjoys and continues to practice throughout one’s life. It is necessary to be healthy to be able to continue enjoying life with our loved ones, and not become a health burden to our families and our national health system.

Feb 12, 2021, I have just updated my goals for the month as follows:

1. I am lean and fit. I love my body. I sleep well and wake up early with thankfulness to some power stretching (feels so good when I stretch), arms swinging, crouching, push-ups, sit-ups, press-ups, twisting, jumping jacks, and chinning to feel great and refreshed, ready for the day’s activities. With no badminton, for now, every day I go for 3 km power walks over 26-27 minutes.
2. I maintain a healthy diet, relishing small frequent meals every 3-4 hours with lots of veggies, fruits, and water. I enjoy feeling light with just a small bowl of midnight snacks. I weigh 137 pounds at 5’8”. I look sexy and prepare myself to become a senior model after transitioning. 
3. I dwell only on the positive. Life is so precious, yet too short fleeting, and fragile. I (ACE) appreciate, cherish and enjoy every single wonderful moment with my loved ones, relishing special times with my grandsons, building happy memories that will last forever, for myself, and for my loved ones. I am so grateful for the moral support and encouragement from my family, relatives, loved ones, and good friends over my transitioning to become a woman.
4. I continue laser and electrolysis treatments after lockdown to remove body and facial hair in my transitioning to become a female. I started testosterone blocker treatment and look forward to starting soon on female hormone therapy to develop more breast and nipples and body curves and become more sentimental. I watch videos on the internet to learn how to apply makeup for older women. Every day, I try on the many different women’s clothing in my huge wardrobe to dress up and feel good as a beautiful old lady.
5. I join LGTBQ+ support groups to attend virtual meetings to learn more about the different challenges we face and how we can help each other overcome these challenges in our transitioning.
6. I watch at least one video every day to practice ballroom dance steps so that I can effectively teach ballroom dancing to beginners. I also watch and practice Argentine tango, bachata, salsa, Samba, quickstep, and Viennese waltz dance steps so that I can enjoy dancing with my future partners after COVID-19. I dress up and practice dancing both the lead and follow steps.
7. I practice forehand and backhand power swings with my badminton racquet and quick anticipatory moves. I practice hitting looking the other way. I train and become proficient in power swings with my left hand as well. I can play senior badminton as a woman after lockdown.      
8. I hold mostly cash, keeping to a conservative investment plan so that I can preserve and increase my limited savings to cover my transitioning surgeries and retirement.
9. I look forward to helping others whenever I can: my children, my friends, and my clients with their financial future and encourage them to donate a reasonable amount to charity, others with fortune reading after which they make a small donation to their favourite church or charity, 68% of TSC teach dance proceeds for me to give to charity, and not least my favourite charities.
10. I attract, absorb and overflow with wealth, feeling grateful with overwhelming appreciation. I look forward to getting the house of my dreams with a badminton court and dance floor. All the Goodness and Wealth in the Universe rush to and soak into me in unending abundance.  Good, Good, Good !!!!!

My goals have given me strength in my transitioning process to become a beautiful old lady, helping me to overcome minor challenges and disappointments.

I hope all my Transgender sisters can benefit from setting 10 goals on the first day of each lunar month, and get what they want most in their lives.

More Articles by Jue Meili Olaes

• FADING MEMORIES BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE
• More stumbling through the decades
• Stumbling over the decades

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Jue Meili Olaes

I am a 73 year old Transgender woman, healthy lean and fit at 5’8” and 137lbs. Took 6 decades of long lonely struggle hidden in a shell before blossoming and coming out, just like a beautiful natural pearl for the world to admire and appreciate. This inspired my new name Jue Meili, pronounced Gee May!ee, meaning Pearl Beautiful. A ton of weight was lifted off my shoulders when my family, relatives, loved ones and good friends welcomed my coming out during COVID-19, and gave me moral support and encouragement. As for others who did not want to continue our friendship, I wish them well. My girlfriend of 27 years left me because she could not see herself in a lesbian type of relationship. She belongs to the old traditional Chinese culture. I don’t feel sad, because I understand her, and don’t want to be in a strained relationship. I can always relive the happy memories we shared before. I love ballroom dancing and badminton competition for seniors. Although I am only at intermediate level, I have been teaching Ballroom Dancing to beginners for 2 years, teaching Social Foxtrot, Waltz, Rhumba, Cha Cha, Jive, Merengue and Argentine Tango. After the course, the Community Centre pays me 68% of the monies collected, and I use this to buy a bank money order to give to a charity to pay it forward and make this a better world for everyone. I have been living full time as a woman since COVID-19, and started on female hormones treatment in March 2021. After 1 year of hormones, I may consider breast augmentation surgery, then voice feminization surgery, and finally bottom surgery. I really miss dancing and want to find women dance partners to get ready to go dancing when they re-open. I have started playing badminton again, and happily as a woman.

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