Ever since I can remember, I have always felt different. I loved football and rugby and was not into anything girly. I always dreamt of growing up and becoming a man. As I looked in the mirror time and time again, however, I was upset at the fact that the body of a girl was staring back at me.
This feeling got stronger as I grew older. When I left home to go to university, the feeling of being different got a lot stronger. Yes, I have had relationships with men, but I never felt comfortable. It felt wrong and strange, and I always had a feeling I was only doing it to fit in.
So, in August 2015, I saw my doctor and told him how I honestly felt. He understood everything I was telling him and realized that part of the reason I have depression and anxiety is because Iโve had to pretend to be someone Iโm not. I have seen numerous counselors who have all said the same thing: I am trapped in the wrong body. (Gender dysphoria, to be exact.) I was referred to a specialist and, in January 2018, I was prescribed testosterone.
Before starting treatment, I had to tell my family, friends and work colleagues, and I did. The support has been amazing. I changed my name from Sarah to Sam and started my testosterone injections in April 2018. I have my third injection this week and the changes have been amazing so far. After only two injections, my voice is getting deeper and Iโm growing facial and body hair.ย Also, my shape is changing to a more masculine shape. I had my hair cut in June and am loving my journey so far.
The only problem I find is there is very little emotional support throughout transitioning. I hope this site helps.
Sam Kelly
Latest posts by Sam Kelly (see all)
- My Journey So Far - August 31, 2018
Family reaction can be very hard,but it is one of the costs we must bare it seems.
Stay strong and become your true self.
Good to hear from a trans brother,many years back would never believe that transmen ecisted
The road has many travelers,and I have a lot of transmen as friends
Thanks for sharing Sam. I wish you the best on your journey. I can only imagine how hard it must be hiding your true self. April is only a part of me and even hiding her for 30+ years was very hard.
Hugs,
April
Thankyou April
Dear thank you for sharing your journey, and for finding us. I’m hoping that we can be a good support system for you as you take your next steps.
I’d love to hear more about your coming out experience, and other experiences you’ve had if you’d be willing to write a few more articles. I think they would help others realize they are not alone as well!
Thankyou Vanessa, I will write a few more articles if it helps others too.
It definitely will dear!
I’ve had so much good feedback on every article that details a part of my experience, what I went through and how I approached it. I know others would benefit!
Hey Sam! I’m on a similar journey as a FtM.. what you wrote is exactly what I’ve gone through since I was small. I am just now crawling my way out. I have cut my hair, raeachee out to the LBGT community here, told my best friend, starting to wear clothes that show who I am and today just spoke with my doc. I start councling next week. The best thing about talking to my son is that she was amazing and understanding. Had great advise about steps to take, and called it a journey. Told me that even though… Read more ยป
Hi Damion,
It took me till I was 24 to tell someone who I really was and that was just my doctor. It took me alot longer to tell family because I was terrified at what they’re reaction might be. My mums taken it hard but is slowly coming around. How are you finding it?
Sam
hey sorry I have been absent as of lately, a lot happening and a much going on as far as “ME"… I am just starting this coming out journey. I have told my husband… and just recently my real father and step mom… they JUST learned a few min ago.. still waiting for reaction. I have no idea how I’m going to even tell my mom…. I am so scared, I feel like I will loose her. If she accepted me … at the least told me she loved me and still want to be a part of my life… Read more ยป
Oh wow that sounds amazing but scary at the same time. Hope your family reacted ok. Let me no and message me if you need to talk.
Very good article Sam. You have my support…still working on photos of Canada for you.
Thankyou Dame Veronica and for your support. I look forward to seeing your photos of Canada and once I have some of Newport I’ll post some to you.