Those Hellish Inner Fires

Hey there my Sisters, I hope this week find you smiling big and enjoying life!

Have you ever experienced what you later referred to as

“a living hell” or “a nightmare”?

En Femme Style

Sometimes the things that seem the most devastating in our lives, are the very things we later see as the moments when we were being shaped and grown into the people we are becoming.

I have heard about, read about, and lived through the experience of the “dark night of the soul”, those hellish inner fires, even more than once which was a surprise to learn.

I thought it to be a one time thing in life, now I know it can, and often does happen more than once for a whole lot of people.

So, I can tell you what a living hell really feels like from my own perspective having rented space there a time or two.

Of course, we can only ever share our own recall of an experience since each one of us can only see all things through our personal beliefs.

Each time I have experienced this

dark night of the soul,

I have not had a fun time of it.

At times, nowadays for a very brief time, I forget who I truly am during a “dark night spin” as I call it, and I generally go to a very dark inner place sputtering suicidal grumblings and generally feeling like the whole world is plotting against me with no hope of my ever clawing my way out of the pity-pit.

When I come out of the spin, wake up, or regain conscious awareness of who I am, I again see that what appeared to be a most horrible, living hell situation, as one that was absolutely required I have, in order for me to grow into the person and life I have been imagining myself to have.

I have experienced one of these dark nights of the soul each time I have spent some time intentionally imagining with the powerful emotions of gratitude, how it will feel to be living my new, expanded version of my life.

This new chapter of my amazing life full of richness, abundance, purpose, and passion requires me to expand from who I currently know myself to be, into the person I am choosing to become.

To naturally and smoothly transform from the seed into the tree, we must experience and accept the end of the seed-self; we must accept the death of the caterpillar-self, to experience the emergence of the butterfly-self.

I cannot know the joy of finding it,

unless I have first lost it .

None of these morphing experiences have been fun or enjoyable for me, but what I have reminded myself of again and again while during these dark times, is that:

It is always darkest just before the dawn

and the dark night eventually gives way

to an even more wonderful reality.

When I am living through those Hellish inner fires and life appears to be hitting me from all sides at once, I look to the sticky notes and posters on my office walls.

They remind me that I am intentionally and consciously creating my amazing life, and this dark night is an essential part of that new life creation because it is shaping and growing me into the person I must become, to live as I have chosen to live.

Just as it was required for Nelson Mandela to be imprisoned before he could rise to the position he truly imagined for his life, and his role in bringing down such a destructive force on our planet as apartheid, each period of living through the hellish inner fires that I have grown through, has proven to be the same thing for me. An essential puzzle piece for creating the bigger picture.

This week, whether you are just slipping into one, are currently experiencing or have experienced the dark night of the soul before, remembering that regardless of what is going on today in your life, it is absolutely an essential piece of creating the life you most often imagine yourself living, and it is temporary.

Learning the simple but not always easy life skill of living through the hellish inner fires consciously and intentionally, will improve your life and the lives of all who witness you for generations to come, and in ways you can not yet even imagine.

And as you practice, you will imagine even greater things to expand into on your journey to becoming.

Thank you for reading Your Weekly Reset and thank you for being exactly who you are!


N huggles




More Articles by Charee

View all articles by Charee
The following two tabs change content below.
From a life of struggle, addiction and suicide attempts, to Published Author, Certified Life Coach/Certified Hypnotist and building an online support service for peeps like us. Intentionally and Consciously Creating a Rewarding, Abundant Life of Purpose, Passion & Possibility is what I Am all about...

Latest posts by Charee (see all)

5 1 vote
Article Rating
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Alicia Dalmas
Alicia Dalmas(@alicia75019)
3 years ago

Hello I leave in Paris (France) and my english was very bad ????

Tia Tracy
Tia Tracy
3 years ago

BTW did you ever figure our the bra dilemma you were having? (Modifications) I am always available to assist as being injured afforded me a lot of time to come up with easier / better one’s
Huggz Tia

Jaiylyn Lawley
Jaiylyn Lawley(@jaiymelynne)
3 years ago

Charee, Once again, thank you. This week the line is “Intentionally and consciously creating my amazing life". It hit me that that is what we do. All people should be more intentional, but for us it is even more so. Creating goals and achieving them brings success whether transitioning or saving to buy a car. Thanks for that. The hell part, for me, is realizing that the choice to create the amazing life is really not a choice at all. Because without choosing to create the life we intend, we live in the hell of constant anxiety and depression. Of… Read more »

Tia Tracy
Tia Tracy
3 years ago

Char, Hello it is so awesome to read your words of compassion and charm. I can relate so much to this article as I was involved in an accident, (hit by a car while on my mountain bike) . While in an extended care facility I lost everything. My apartment and all of the contents within. while healing I made some different choices I needed to make to give Tia a fighting chance in this world of unsure. Hundreds of tears later I was discharged and all alone. This time I was careful, chose my location to live peacefully and… Read more »

©2024 Transgender Heaven | Privacy | Terms of Service | Contact Vanessa

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Transgender Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Login to Transgender Heaven

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?