What can YOU do?


I have written many articles for these amazing sites that Vanessa has created to support and nourish the CD/TG community.  (If you are a member of CDH, you can read them by clicking this link below.)


Just recently, I read two similar but slightly different quotes, which touched me deeply. I want to share them with y’all in the hope that just maybe they might inspire you and encourage you to help others in our community, and society in general, to understand and accept us as a vibrant and valuable part of the amazing tapestry of life.


The first quote was from a graduation/motivational speech by the comedian Jim Carrey
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAzTIOy0ID0 )
and the part that struck a chord for me was,

 “Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.”

Too often, the only images of our community the world sees are ones where we are seen as freaks or deviants – as seen in some movies and crime shows or in hard core porn sites. What many have never seen or even realized is that we’re just like anyone else in society-we laugh; we cry; we hope; we dream; we live; we die. The only difference is we do those things while not following the societal gender roles that restrict so many others. By allowing the world to see that we in the community are their parents, their kids, or their friends and that how we present ourselves doesn’t change WHO we are. We hasten the day where the lines that divide and separate us from society as a whole are erased, and we are seen not as objects to be gawked at but as people. I challenge each of us –to the extent we are able to do so given our desires and life circumstances-to live our lives as authentically as we can, and to NOT be invisible.  You may be the reason that just one person is able to break free from the chains that hold them down and to help change the world one person at a time.

(I wrote about this here at https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/overcoming-our-deepest-fear/ )

The second quote –attributed to many different folks but first elucidated by Edward Everett Hale,

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything
But I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”


I see the many things others are doing and think, “How am I helping to change the world for the better?” My main role on Crossdresser Heaven and Transgender Heaven is greeting our new members. It seems like such a small role I sometimes wonder if I contribute anything meaningful. But then I read the above quote and it makes me think about the many small roles we all play. The way I felt when I first joined CDH five years ago and in the way I was welcomed by Codille and Vanessa comes to mind.  Despite being an intensely shy and introverted person, and the fact that I was risking everything by finally admitting to myself who I was, the warmth engendered in those first days on site by those simple words of welcome let me know that I was truly welcomed, and that I wasn’t a freak. I’d found a home-a place where I could be free to be who I am without fear or shame. Over these last five years, I’ve gained confidence to the point where most of my friends know about Cyn. They accept that I am who I am BECAUSE of that part of me. Although my role here may not seem glamorous or showy, I realize that I DO make a difference, even if it’s only a small one.

So now I challenge you to ask yourself, “What can I do?” For a variety of reasons, we each have different circumstances and different end goals in sight for expressing the side of ourselves we have kept hidden for so many years.  But despite those differences, each of us CAN make a difference-small though it may seem. We need only answer that question and then act on it to the best extent we can.  And when we do, then a day when we are ALL judged not by how we express our gender identity but by the ENTIRE person we truly are may be far closer than we ever thought possible!  I wrote the below four years ago, and it seems appropriate to reprise it here.


The Future Begins with Us!

I held my nephew in my arms amazed at what I saw-
Such beauty, love and sweetness-not a solitary flaw.
The slate is blank, the beach of life unmarked with any prints-
No hate or prejudice at all –just joy and innocence.

I thought of all the things that could impinge upon this baby-
The bad parts of society but then I thought just maybe
That he could be the one to change the way that people think!
And take a world that’s making strides and push it to the brink.

Where who you are attracted to or how you feel inside
Is nothing to be ‘shamed of or to feel you have to hide.
Where all can live their lives as who they’re always meant to be
Regardless if that fits what we perceive as he or she.

The mightiest of movements start from someone saying “NO!
I won’t allow a phobia to land a single blow!
For all are worthy of our love and none deserve our scorn-
And each is just as precious as this boy who’s just been born.

So as I gaze upon my nephew’s beatific face,
I pray that God will grant me just a little of His grace.
And that the change I just described may truly come to be
For all of it CAN happen-it is up to you and me!


Let THIS be the generation that changes the attitudes and beliefs of the world towards the TG community.




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Cynthia S

Crossdressed since age 11 til age 53 as of 2018. Joined Crossdresser Heaven in August 2015. Since then I have been exploring my feelings and trying to determine what my best path is -staying CD and just getting out more often and openly as i have been recently; social transitioning outside work; or actually transitioning full time; just not certain what's right for me.

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Active Member
3 years ago

oh and those two quotes are two of my very favorites, I use them all the time! hehehe Yaaaay!

Active Member
3 years ago

Never underestimate the power of a “Hello or Welcome" Cyn. One day I was walking to downtown over one of the many bridges in Saskatoon, also called bridge City; I saw a guy standing looking over and leaning on the rail. he glanced up as I approached, I smiled n said how’s it goin? long story short, several hours later we were still sitting in the local Tim Hortons chatting about life, his intention to jump and how my “How’s it goin?" changed that for him. It’s not the size that matters hon, its being there and being seen that… Read more »

Vanessa Law
Active Member
Vanessa Law(@vanessa)
3 years ago

Cyn you are truly a blessing to our community, both here and on Crossdresser Heaven. I hear all the time from members who were hesitant to take the first step and immediately felt comfortable by the warm welcome they received, many times from you dear!

Thanks for everything you do, and for continuing to make this a welcoming place for everyone!

3 years ago

Hi Cynthia, thank you for your very positive and valuable contribution here with your article.
I am sure it will be of help to many as you describe your learning and understanding that you have acquired over time and share with us all.
I am grateful for you time and energy, that will make a difference here and to all that read this.
Through our articles we are able to give encouragement and show that there is a future waiting for us all that we can enjoy and be happy within
Love and hugs

Carly Holloway
Carly Holloway(@carlyellen)
3 years ago

Dear Cynthia. Your article is spot on. Despite the expectations of the world, we are here and a valuable part of that world. We CAN do what we can do: nothing more, even though we often do less. It’s my belief that by simply being, each of us is an example to the world of when we really are, the sons, daughters, sisters or brothers to the world. Our example lets others know of the truth, not the big screen portrayal of TG people. In the words of the immortal Popeye, “I am what I am and that’s all what… Read more »

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