During the holidays, a friend asked me how my marriage was going. I gave the regular answer (I mean normal, not in a dismissive tone. I love my wife, and we are very happy, but I don’t want to bore anyone with it) and continued talking about the weather and clothes. She adm...
Archive for category: Do I Need to Transition?
When you’re starting your journey get help answering the question, “Do I Need To Transition?”
This is my second attempt at writing this, but my first was consumed by technology – I think I must be a Luddite. It’s now been 6 plus years since I started to crossdress again. 6 years of exploring who I am and who I want to be. 6 years of finally figuring out that I am ...
I’d like to share my experiences growing up. Venting can be therapeutic. I was a super shy and polite kid. Even now, I refuse to use profanity and always put others’ needs before my own. Maybe that’s my problem. This past year, I’ve been feeling like I’m an imposter. Pr...
Billy was my first best friend. We met in kindergarten. Billy was also the first boy I’d ever seen try on women’s clothes. The kindergarten room had a bin full of adult clothes for dress-up. One day, Billy decided to pull on this black and green sequined dress with ma...
At what point does someone say, “I’m ready” or “I never will be.” More importantly, does there even need to be a declaration? I have been graciously blessed to be part of this community, first as a member on CDH and then on this site, and now as both sites’ Managing E...
I am sitting here, having a nice glass of wine, contemplating my future. I am a torn individual. OK with my male life, yet wanting more. I just feel more alive when I am April, yet I am so self conscious of my appearance. I know I do not pass and while I am OK going out part time...
Puberty brought with it a whole lot of different emotions and experiences. As for most people, my puberty years were confusing. Everything got exaggerated; feelings, depression, anxiety, and loneliness to mention a few. I spent most of the time by myself. I also spent extra time ...
These are complicated questions for me, and they have complicated answers. When I first realized I needed to transition, I could have pinpointed specific days or times to answer either of those questions. However, my perspective on my past has changed quite a bit in the past few ...
Once I got on antidepressants, I started to get a better grasp of everything. I felt as if I could finally let the weight fall from my shoulders; unburden those immense feelings that were smothering me and lay them down. I felt like I could calmly work through one by one all the ...
To continue, 2018 began with me being in a state of limbo, so to speak. I was caught between dueling personalities. One existed solely because of the fear that my world would fall apart if anyone found out about the other. And that other one was giving me increasing amounts of...
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